I went a bit mental yesterday, colleagues.
Having (calmly, initially) discovered the truth about my slow progress, I went a bit berserk and decided to jack it all in and do either lighter life or Cambridge....based on the fact that I am able to suffer discomfort, hardship and pay the price as long as I get results.
I left the online community, emailed Dax to say goodbye and stomped around in a mood.
I then slumped onto the sofa in a petulant manner and resolved not to do my dumbbell matrix. And watched TV all night......
Strange that. Did I have a coffee or a glass of wine or pig out?? No! Because there was nothing about my mood that was based on dissatisfaction with the plan....just the outcomes. In fact, while sitting there painting my nails, I actually decided to not return to eating from the banned list. That wasn't the point, after all.
And then a strange thing happened at 9.50pm. I just got up and did my exercises, and worked hard at it too......
I then stomped off to bed and lay there thinking about the sachet diet I planned to embrace before drifting off into a sleep that was full of odd dreams about iced, heart shaped cakes with the inscription 'So sorry, Jo' piped onto them.....
And then I woke up. And did my power circuit......strange that eh? Wasn't I quitting?
'Well, yes, I still am......just, you know....'
I got a very supportive email from Dax, who must see this sort of defeatism all of the time and I churlishly picked up my ball and decided to play again
I will be back to comment on the new habits I must form to do this new thing....which I embrace.
Just been to Pilates and booked in twice weekly sessions for January....love it and hate it simultaneously.....such is life eh?
So, did I fall off the waggon at all then? No!!! I find that very strange, in a good way....
Good night (and thanks Dax!!!) xxxx Jo
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