Day 3, 97 to go....not the best of days

Hmmmmmm,

One of those days today. I knew they would come. And I must deal with them as they do, because I am not giving up.

That said, it has still been one of those days and I am afraid I am going to have a bit of a moan. Might as well get it out of the way before I can look at things in a more constructive manner....

Moan 1: I woke up with extreme pain across my lower back, the sides of my hips and shooting down my legs. For the first time in my life I had to take a painkiller for pain in a place other than my head. I was worried first, but the pain soon subsided and has been intermittent throughout the day.....when it is bad, it is very, very bad. And I am not being a 'wuss' for a change. Did I twang something during my first run through of IMT last night?? Or did I just sleep funny? I certainly had a plethora of strange dreams last night including eating curry rice and chips in a rat infested curry house by the sea....perhaps I twisted in sheer revulsion?? I am trying to decide whether or not to attend Pilates this evening, but probably will on a suck it and see basis

Moan 2: Hunger and the dreaded research tea......at the university there is an event I dread....the research tea. Literally a tea party where research is discussed. You are talking crisps, cakes, pastries and all manner of evils, accompanied by tea and intellectual wranglings. I always find it challenging, given that it occurs at 3pm, precisely the time when I am feeling my blood sugar dropping. I have been hungry all day, unusually hungry. I had my usual sinless muesli and yogurt at 7 for breakfast, some fruit, nuts and yogurt at 10 and a lunch of spinach and chicken salad with one of my home made gluten free flatbreads. In order to stave off hunger and prepare for the dreaded carbfest at 3, I ate an apple, a satsuma and a few almonds. I drank water all day. Still hungry......and upon arrival at the research tea resolved to eat nothing. This was hard, especially when you can smell the butter cream in the raspberry Swiss roll situated right under your nose....And I did eat nothing. Until I spotted the dried figs. And ate 5 of them. Now in an ideal world, that would be ok. I made a healthy choice. I didn't eat anything too bad. But 5 large, dried figs in quick succession. Was there really any need for that? As Paul Mort would say, the 'Former Fat Girl' in me reared her, errrrr, wobbly head. Did I fail? I will think about that and report back later...


20.10

Well, later is here and I am resolved to make a success of this strange old day. Will that involve a degree of self-delusion? Not at all.....but a positive platform is essential when things are a bit askew, I feel.
Mid and lower back/hip pains still there....and I decided to put off going to Pilates. I will instead move through my IMT programme carefully, slowly and without holding any weight in order to spend my time fruitfully and constructively, yet carefully. My back ached all the way home on the train, and I felt tired and flagging. I didn't work huge hours today and was out of the house a straight 11 hours, though had several meetings and not much time for a head break.
Still, I accomplished a lot. My goals for today were food, Pilates (which I will replace with the gentle IMT session) and water drinking. I also resolved to sort out my desk and task list and set up for the next two days working from home, which I did really successfully. Having left my office in a hurry due to the onset of the virus I had on Friday, I returned to piles of ad hoc stuff from the day's lecturing lying in piles all over the place, a situation I abhor. I usually spend time each evening putting things away, noting tasks, sorting loose ends and shutting my head down before I leave the office, which is what I accomplished today. Only, I spent all day doing that in between research meetings. It was time well spent and I have neat piles of work at home with me in need of action. Given that I had had two days at home with the lurgy, I caught up quick. Despite having too much on my plate, I feel a sense of control and possibility in my work, as opposed to the overwhelmed feelings I had on Monday and Tuesday whilst working remotely.

I thought about those figs on the way home.....so, were they a healthy eating victory in the face of chocolate macaroons, tortilla chips and Turkish delight, or were they a failure?

A bit of both, I would conclude. OK, I chose something more sensible that I might have done a few months ago. But was I hungry? Perhaps, but was it just a blood sugar dip/outcome of detoxing and could I have resolved it by drinking water? I think so. They were yummy, and a better of several evils, but 5 was unnecessary and greedy. And it might have been 6, if I think about it.

That's all for today. Tomorrow, providing my back is OK, I am going to try a complete run through of IMT in the morning and the evening. Wish me well.

Goodnight xxxx