Day 18, 72 to go and the discovery of a wonder food

Polenta

Marvellous, especially when fried in a teeny bit of olive oil and garlic and served with home made free range turkey meatballs and a salad.

I am a convert....

Am busy at the mo, so blogs may be short and sparse, but I did have a really great day yesterday.

I picked up my new tooth whitening kit from the dentist (part of my 'Magic 100' goals) and used it for the first time overnight. It has already had an impact and the good news is that the dentist feels confident that I can achieve the highest grade of whiteness. This is important to me as I have a very toothy grin and flash my teeth a lot!! I have always been conscious of my slightly off white smile.....

I also go my hair done and I really like the outcome. I then has my waxing done and an absolutely blissful facial. All part of those goals

Eating is going great, as is the exercises. I will nee to squeeze my IMT in in a moment because I didn't manage to do it this morning, though will do it again this evening too.....

So that's all for now......I will catch you later for further rantings

Til then xxxx

Day 16, 74 to go....creaky legs and morning hunger

Morning,

The sun is shining and I am feeling bright and breezy, if a little creaky. I have noticed that I am losing my balance more during IMT and this seems to be something to do with my ham strings....I am wobbly and creaky.

Could this be something to do with the combo of Power Circuit and IMT? Who knows....it is just something I have noticed.

I breakfasted at 8, snacked at 10......it is now 11 and I am starving and desperate to eat the remaining handfull of nuts I have.

Mornings are definately my hungry time. But then again, so is mid-afternoon. And early evening.

The horrors of hunger!! (smile)

Later xx

Jo

Still Day 15....and a tea time fruit binge

Oh bugger......why did that happen?

I ate at 8......wheat free muesli, summer fruit and yogurt, then

I ate at 10.25....a few nuts and some dates and then, due to time necessity....

I ate at 12....home made red cabbage/yogurt coleslaw with lean ham and 2 oatcakes and then.....

I ate at 2.30....an apple and a small handful of nuts before by next 2 hour appointment and all was going well until.....

I got into the kitchen to make dinner at 6 and had about 8 dates and some nuts.....right before dinner at 6.45 (which was a fab sweet potato, chicken and butter bean stew, and I watched my portion size too......)

Then I got hungry at 9 and ate 2 oatcakes..................

What is going on with me.....hungry Horace or what??

IMT tonight was a bit stiff, and my legs ached during the wobbly legged manoeuvres, though got there and did 8 of each on the upper body and 12 of the squats/lower body ones.

Still feeling great, just wondering about that urge to scoff dates, man!!!

The rather 'lovely' image, by the way is my spirulina and goat's yogurt masque applied Sunday with great results. Speaking of which, I am off work Thursday and Friday and will be picking up my teeth whitening trays from the dentist, having a second set of bloods done to look for that rogue enzyme level that was raised last time, having my hair and waxing done, plus a facial to reward me for my pains.....bliss. Not all hard work this..............

See you tomorrow

xxx

Day 15, 75 to go and, errrr, 'Killin' it, as Paul Mort would say!

Just a quickie today

Yesterday was great.....IMT twice, building in extra moves and loving the feelings of natural energy and general well being I am experiencing.

No slip-ups at all....which means that the only slip-ups I have had in 15 days are:

• I smidgen of wheat hidden in some otherwise brilliant organic venison sausages
• A tortilla wrap at a funeral that may or may not have contained some wheat, though probably did
• A bag of cranberries and nuts eaten at a time when I wasn't hungry
• One missed IMT session

Great, I feel. No binging, no waggon collapses......going well so far. I could still do with reigning in some of my potion sizes, though when I do have large potions it is only of lean protein and vegetable based meals, with a teeny bit of potato/brown rice/wheat free pasta etc.

Today's lunch is red cabbage coleslaw made with goat's yogurt and paprika, raw mange touts, lean ham and two small oatcakes.

Marvellous

xxxx Jo

Day 13.....and all is well. Oh, and 77 to go

Hi there,

Good loss so far....25cm total (biggest area of loss being my bust!) and over 5 pounds, though some hormonal issues may have reduced the impact of this. Looking forward to the next set of measurements

I am really into this. Have run through the power circuit two days on the trot to get it into my head before I do it early in the mornings and I really like it. Except for those ones where you walk on your hands.

I am planning a good day today. Food wise, I started with a big breakfast of prunes, berries and yoghurt followed by scrambled egg on toasted organic rye bread, The bread was a bit chewy and perhaps an acquired taste, but I liked it more than I expected.

I have started taking my spirulina in tablet form as after the initial health buzz, the powder form started to make me gag as it reminded me of the insides of a fish tank. Not that I have tasted one.

I am still taking my soya lecithin thrice daily having read up more about its liver supporting, cholesterol reducing and brain function related benefits. I don't mind the stuff at all.....

So, lunch will be a couple of oatcakes, some home made guacamole and a small bowl of my home made leek and spring green soup.

Dinner will be slow cooked braising steak with umbrian lentils and braised red cabbage. I am going to watch my portion size on that one because the butcher gave me a lot more steak than I expected for a 'two person portion'.

I was pleased with my cooking yesterday. I had never tried Guinea fowl and decided to get something different for dinner, so popped one in the oven with a few cloves and a quartered onion in his body cavity and a brushing of olive oil and sea salt on the skin. I served that with roast sweet potatoes (small portion) and braised red cabbage and another one of my favourite winter berry reductions. It was great.

I do like to have a more special meal on a Saturday evening and I baked a wheat free and sugar free summer berry crumble for pudding served with goat's yoghurt. I loved it. It was a bit tart, but I am getting used to life without 'Splenda' very quickly. I made the crumble topping from soya flour, gluten free flour mix, a bit of butter (maybe too much) and some oats with lots of cinnamon and mixed spice to give it a biscuity taste.

I am going to use the remaining powdered spirulina in the tub to make a face mask, and after that I am going for a 4 mile walk through the lovely ploughed fields in the gorgeous Autumnal sunshine

Catch you later xxxx

Later......

Had a great day....walked 4 miles in an hour and 20 minutes through rugged fields, cleaned my whole house and did that facepack.....with amazing results! Skin feels so smoothe and nourished.

I have braising steak cooking slowly in the oven for a late (but small!!) dinner and am off to do my IMT for the evening.

I was thinking earlier that I feel so physically good that I can't see myself ever wanting to live any other way. I have never felt fitter or stronger or more energised. Quite amazing.

Well, must go for now....no rest for the wicked eh?!!

xxxx Jo

Day 11, 79 to go.....the good, the bad and the emotional hunger

The last couple of days have been emotionally tough,

I was doing closing comments at a conference yesterday and enjoyed my summer fruit and goat's yoghurt 'trifle' much more than I would have enjoyed the scone-based 'high tea' other delegates were tucking into.

I started keeping my food diary proper so I won't need to mention everything I eat here (just managed to get them printed as I have no printer here at home) and am amazed at how often I eat my handful of nuts and dates early because I am bored/stressed/emotional/tired as opposed to being hungry. That is really significant though difficult to challenge.....I need some strategies.

I did my IMT yesterday morning before leaving for work. Left the conference at 6.30 before embarking on a really scary 50 mile drive in high winds to my Gran's house where I would spend the evening before attending the funeral of a family friend today.

Now, my Gran is 86.....and a marvellous woman. She is also an Irish force feeder....and she is never happy unless we are happy, which in her book (bless her, so nurturing!!) means eating something she has wrought with her own fair hand. She is a fantastic cook, having spent years as head chef at a major industrial site and won international awards for her catering. The food she makes is traditional, laden with wheat, sugar butter and all manner of naughty things and salt too.

I had given her instructions....no wheat, dairy, caffeine processed, sugar....and she really respected that. She had prepared a chicken breast with new potatoes and a lovely fresh green salad with her trademark bits of black grape through it. She didn't understand why I couldn't have salad cream, and I explained about the sugar content, which surprised her too....

Tea drinking is a huge part of our very Irish family culture, and she was fine with me drinking my special herbal teas, though commented that she could never face one herself. She always has a malted drink with a slug of brandy to get her to sleep, and it troubled her a bit when I declined, though she shuffled around and prepared her own and didn't complain.

I did no an off-radar emotional binge however. She had baked egg custards (my favourite) and apple pie (second favourite) and seemed OK, though a little hurt when I had to decline......

I felt good.....empowered......strong. So why did I get hungry by 9pm and eat the whole bag of dried cranberries and macadamia nuts I had brought to sustain me through the next day's sad events??? Recompense for my goodness??? Greed?? Emotional hunger......??? A bit of them all to be fair. I felt bad. I also didn't do my IMT. I knew I was going to find it hard to sleep on that sofa near a window on the street they don't call 'little Beirut' by accident.....and I didn't want to wake myself up as I started to doze by 9.30 by getting up and stretching. That is the honest truth.

I did it this morning though and my Gran prepared me scrambled eggs, the slice of wheat free toast I had brought with me and a handful of grapes to get me through the long day ahead. Great.

The funeral was sad, very sad. Not only that, the evening on the sofa the night before has been emotionally troubling. Going back to that town always is, and I went to a strange place in my mind....a state kind of haunted by ghosts and flashbacks as I tried to nod off, knowing that the place where my tired limbs lay was just a few streets away from the scenes of much hardship I faced as a young person. I wondered how I had managed to climb out of that, out of 'Little Beirut' and into an ivory tower and when I did sleep my dreams were tinged with this too.....

The church was sad too.....and as I stood there paying my respects I realised that this beautiful old church in the midst's of chaos has been the marker for so many important times in my life. My baptism, Sunday school, the choir, weddings, baptisms to follow, and now this. A funeral. When we sang 'Amazing Grace' my eyes stung with tears as I thought of the man whose passing we mourned, and again of this little 'wretch' who had somehow climbed out of hell's kitchen and into the light.......

So the wake.....and focusing on the buffet. It was now 1.40 and almost 6 hours since I had eaten. I was starving. Emotionally and physically. I looked at the plates of quiche, pies, sandwiches and almost gave myself permission to dig in. After all, where around here was I going to find gluten, sugar, additive free cuisine??? I had already had a single alcohol free beer to mark my friend's day and somehow wondered if the flood gates had opened.

I approached the table. The smell was amazing. My stomach churned. And what did I find amidst the smorgasbord of banished booty??? A tiny plate of chicken tikka pieces and a single tortilla sandwich wrap (I wondered if it has wheat in it but risked it anyway- with nasty gastric after effects!!!). I felt good. After all, I had given myself permission for one day to abandon ship, yet somehow clung onto the mast as it started to sink. I followed this with a huge bowl of fresh fruit pieces and spurned the sherry trifle and lemon meringue pies that had been calling to me.

So, not great, not awful.....but yielded great learning about the emotional process involved in all of this.

Do you know what is great??? The change in my shape....I am definitely changing. I will be doing an official weigh and measure for Dax tomorrow and also trying the yoga moves prescribed. Just made a great Mexican chicken and smoked paprika stew with real, home made corn tortillas and feeling good, if emotionally jaded.

Until tomorrow xxxx

Day 10, 80 to go and I won't see you for a few days

Well,

10 days off the old toxins have passed and I am feeling better than ever.

My Doctor was amazed at how well I am doing, but noticed in some recent (pre 90 day challenge) blood tests that although my overall cholesterol count is normal, within that count I have more bad cholesterol than good.

This worried me as I would certainly not consider my pre-90 day diet as a source of the stuff- at the time I was drinking skimmed milk, eating low fat cow's yoghurt and no cheese or butter.

I am now eating more eggs, have started to cook with butter from time to time and eating full fat goat's yoghurt. I do take high strength fish oil, flax oil and spirulina, which I hope will help but am wondering what a further set of tests next Thu will show......slightly concerned as am loving the whole food regimen.

Anyway....all is going well over here. Eating on target, though 'nut nibbling' before dinner is still a bit of an issue. IMT twice a day and Yoga last night- very challenging and flexibility greatly aided by IMT practice!!!

Going away for a funeral for 2 days which will prove challenging. I have stocked myself up with gluten free bread, goat's butter, nuts and dates and am hoping my Gran will respect the fact that I won't be eating any wheat etc when I stay with her. She is a great cook and struggles to keep track of my 'latest fads'....

Catch up with you at the weekend xxxx

Day 9, 81 to go- and the mama of all days to report

Blimey,

Was yesterday perfect???

Let's start with the 7.20 am train. Delayed, as was the 7.30, the 7.40 and so on. The whole system had gone awry and travelling to work not only took almost three times as long as usual, but was chaos. Amazingly I managed to blag a seat ( I am not shy, I can tell you....) and I got to work feeling slightly shaken but not stirred.

Teaching went well during the morning. I was hampered by ridiculous shoes that I bought because I loved them though they were down to the last pair and this happened to be in the next size up. So walking in them is a whole system of bodily management. And by lunch time they had started to get on my nerves. As had some other people I have to work alongside, who, by 3pm had descended into what resembled a flock of screaming baby seagulls who all wanted a piece of me. A two hour long consultation forum followed until 6pm, which became one of the most negative meetings I have lived through and led to me leaving with a feeling of dishevelment!!!

So, I headed off for the 18.15 in those stupid shoes which were growing even more burdensome and boat like with every step and was obstructed on the stairs by three screaming and bickering teenagers. They scurried down ahead of me as I heard the train pull in and guess what?? During their lolloping and happy slapping of one another, they totally got in my way and I reached the train doors just as they closed. I remember saying 'Oh F**k!' aloud as the train sailed off into the tunnel and casting a most evil look towards the battling chavs. My heart literally sank. On a normal day, missing the 18.15 is annoying, as the next one doesn't come until 18.35 and as it takes me 40 minutes to get home, your evening feels as though it is shrinking disproportionately. But the delays and problems faced this morning were still unresolved and the station were unable to predict the time of the next train. And my phone was out of charge so I couldn't even phone my husband and beckon him to pick me up somewhere along the line if I got another train that could take me half way there. And I was carrying loads of books in 3 bags. And my shoes were now becoming impossible. And my heart was still flattened by the fraction of the second train missage.

Eventually got on a train at 0 to 7 and due to serious delays it got me home at 7.30. The rain was pelting down. I was cold and miserable. I couldn't phone to organise a lift from the station so I had to walk it. In the rain with 3 bags and those shoes. It was misery. 15 minutes of agony.

When I got home I found that an industrial sized de-humidifier had landed in our kitchen to sort out the remnants of last week's washing machine flood and also most of the weekly shopping delivery was still to be unpacked and re-arranged. I nearly cried.

The outcome......

Do you expect to tell you that I fell off the rails, got a takeaway or had a sugar binge?

Because I didn't.......

I did eat a few nuts when I got in because I hadn't eaten since 2 (having run out of nuts to eat with my fruit....), but I put the shopping away, ranted at my husband a bit, moved the great machine thing to one side and cooked a chicken, smoked paprika, cherry tomato, carrot and butter bean stew served with a handful of baby spinach.

A triumph....IMT twice yesterday, eating on target ( I did find my self nibbling on nuts between meals though....must sort that!), portion sizes reduced. The only thing I didn't managed was belly dance practice, but I have Pilates this evening and will work very hard.

I am delighted with the day I had and the adversity I overcame. And I am NEVER wearing those shoes again xxxx

Day 9, 81 to go and today is going to be PERFECT

Is perfection too much to ask for?

Sometimes, maybe....

But in this case, in terms of my goals and my actions towards them, definately not.

Today is going to be spot on.

No hidden wheat or naughty sugared fruit
No slacking off
No lying or self delusion

Perfection is what I am looking for. I am going to lay my head on my pillow tonight and marvel at the day I have had, having accomplished:

The work I need to do today (I have a list, believe me)
Well- spaced, on list eating
IMT twice (one down already!!)
45 minutes bellydancing practice.....

I will report later. I can do it. The rewards are going to be magnificent xx

Day 8....82 to go....and a hidden source of sugar

Well, let's start with the bad stuff and get it out of the way.

I have decided to come clean about something. I have been getting sneaky, secret sugar from dried fruit. A few dried figs this morning and a mammoth handful of dried fruit this afternoon. Trouble is that in addition to the dates and dried banana slices, it also contains what can only be described as little chunks of candied lemon. And I got a complete sugar hit from it. And then felt totally sick. And threw the rest of the jar away...looks healthy but is the basis of self delusion and secret toxins.....

No bit disaster but i did fear that I was falling off the waggon....a smidgen of wheat yesterday, candied lemon today......

I can assure you than the waggon is still riding through town and I am still clinging on there (sometime desperately) and hope to be at its helm again soon. Actually, what am I trying to do here? Talk myself out of winning? I AM at the helm and will remain so. OK, I momentarily left the driving seat and let some idiot take over for a few minutes but she is gone now!!!

Good things today????

First early morning IMT run through....though I have been doing it twice daily this happened to be on days when I didn't need to get out of bed at 6.30. I did it today, as soon as I got out of bed and really enjoyed it. It woke me up actually!!

I missed belly dance class so did an hour's practice at home and also had a 40 minute walk. Did my IMT again whilst watching TV in the living room

I had the impressions done for my teeth whitening shields....part of my magic 100. I have made room in my budget by committing to not buying clothes til early Feb, after all I will need a new wardrobe then when I have dropped my weight. I have a great wardrobe now and will get my money's worth before I have to ditch it.

I said to my dentist that my teeth whitening is more important because after all, you always wear your smile and mine is an especially wide and toothy one. Can't wait to pick up the treatment in 10 days and get whitening

Eating (except the secret sugar stash) fab....protein with every meal, nicely spaced, reducing dinner portions

All is OK here

Good night xxxx

Still Day 7....have I been naughty..? Perhaps a little

Hmmmmmm,

A moral dilemma. My butcher makes the most beautiful organic venison sausages from pure and lean meat. I asked him if he used rusk after I had purchased them and was heading for the door....'no', he replied, I use bread and herbs and that is all in addition to the meat. I sighed, but he explained that he uses 0.5 pounds of white bread per 11lbs of meat. Could have been per 18 pounds even.

I wrangled with the sausages (not literally) all weekend and have just eaten them with some roasted baby turnips, baby carrots and turnips and a home made wheat free winter berry sauce....they were lovely, truly.

On one hand wheat is wheat, but sound a negligible amount. On the other hand......there is no other hand is there? Wheat is wheat......

It is not like I fell off the waggon for a cream cake or a Danish or a beer....I chose fantastic organic, fresh, seasonal produce.

I am confused and don't know how to view this one really. My resolve is in no way dented and I am solid as a rock....

Done IMt once and will do another one when my dinner has settled. Not sure if I am doing some of the ones involving squats correctly when working solo, so will need to use the vid again this evening methinks

Overall, a good weekend to end a good week.

What do you reckon to the wheat in sausages issue? Do let me know!!! xxxx

Day 7, 83 to go, and some good news!

Well,

At the end of a tough (though not impossible) week of detox and movement I started to notice some changes around my waist and stomach....and allowed myself to get on the scales. It appears that I have lost 6 and a quarter pounds. What is important is that I felt it before I weighed myself, and what a feeling that is. Just a few positive changes to report:

• Improved posture



• Skin looks amazing



• General feeling of wellbeing



• No bloatedness



• Enjoyment of lovely food



• IMT has been manageable



• Weight loss



• Vitality



• Empowered feeling......



• Learning to make great recipes without 'banned foods'

I am listening to an interview given by Dax as I type and am struck by how similar our backgrounds are. I won't say more than that, but what I will say is that I must acknowledged all of the things I have already done to get myself from there to here.....and also the fact that food deprivation might have led to some of my attitudes towards food today. I have always said that that stuff lurking there in my youth has driven me.

Anyway, moving on (rapidly), I made two fantastic meals yesterday and am amazed at how quickly you learn to live without sucralose, flour etc.

We had a salad of harissa king prawns, avocados, spinach and pine nuts for lunch....very satisfying

For dinner I made Barbary duck breast (and I left the skin on!), butter beans, carrots and green beans on butter and lemon zest/herbs and even invented a summer fruit crumble from gluten free flour, a bit of butter and some frozen summer fruits which I served with a dollop of goat's yogurt. Did I need sweetener? No!! I am adjusting well....

My most triumphant ingredient however was the sauce I made to go with the duck.....I had to think hard. I got some berries (redcurrants, blackcurrants) and simmered them in a Saute pan and added the rind and juice of an orange, a teaspoon of black olive pate (gives a meaty richness) and reduced it down to a beautiful jus.....Feeling good

I do worry a bit about my cholesterol level.....I will consult Dax

Back later xxx

Day 6, 84 to go and off to a good start

Well, I was up at 7.50 to welcome a team of roofers and builders for winter maintenance and little jobs like dimmer switches and washing machine plumbing. I made them the customary bacon butties while I myself has a lovely omlette. I used butter again, of the goat variety, clearly....and wondering if the deliciousness yielded by this is a problem?

It is after all, on the list. I am going to do my IMT now and follow this with my spirulina. This is all getting a bit repetitive isn't it? And rightly so, because I really believe that the true secret to success is evidently in the habit forming and repetition. So the more I drone on and repeat myself, the better I get.

I sorted my finances out this morning....this month has been tough, given two major events, both of which involved entertainment, dog kenneling, gift and hotel costs, plus the slight increase in the shopping bills whilst stocking up on wholefoods. Oh, and the random purchase of a pair of black, knee high leather boots. And the building work. And our dog needed an operation on his paw. And the washing machine flooded the whole utility cupboard twice, leaving the floor totally wrecked. Even given the insurance support, there is still a massive excess to pay and our insurance premium has risen. How dare they? They are basically re-charging for their services. Fiends.

Surprisingly I have managed all this and should be in the black and also able to pay for my professional teeth whitening treatment (part of my magic 100) by the start of next month. Marvellous. I am living quite cheaply outside of the shopping bills as I am not eating out at all. Nights in involve tasty, wholesome dishes, a roaring coal fire and a glass of water with bits of lime in it. I love it actually. I managed to socialise twice this week though and going out for teatime herbal tea with friends has been a refreshing change. Literally!!!!

So, what is on the special weekend menu today then??

Like I said, I started with a spinach, cherry tomato and bacon omlette and some summer fruits and goat's yoghurt

I will have my spirulina shake after I have done my IMT

I have some extra large king prawns marinating in rose harissa which I will serve hot with a salad of avocados, pine nuts and spinach for lunch.

Some peaches and goat's yogurt with toasted flaked almonds planned for my afternoon snack

And dinner.......well, dinner is going to be an extravagant combination of pan fried Gressingham Duck breast, butter beans in a black olive jus and spinach. I think that will be just lovely

Off to move my ass and other muscles. Going for a 2k hand weight this morning and last accompanied run through before I fly free, as it were, tomorrow.

Byeeeeee xxxx

Day 5, 85 to go....still the same day, dunno what I was ranting about earlier....!

Hi again,

Good day today. Am not going to rant on much tonight, but I did my IMT twice, went for a cuppa with a mate, treated Alex to one of my special baltis with my own gluten free Naan breads, got my work done, got my provisions and ate like an angel. Portion size this evening not brilliant....I think I need to cut down on the size of the stew/balti/tagine I make because I perhaps over-compensate when not serving with rice or a side.....will muse over that over night.

I did the IMT this evening unaccompanied by footage. It went ok...I am getting better. Need to slow down and do like 'one elephant, two elephant, three elephant' etc....am doing that a bit but could get better. Sometimes I lose the 'mastery' when I start counting. Evidently, there is not much space inside this cluttered head.

Just wanted to report that saying 'no' to things seems easy because of my bigger goals. It is like an inner voice has appeared. Is it my reticular activating system? There is certainly something shoring me up. It says a range of things, like 'stop fannying around and get on with your work' and 'it is challenging but not impossible'.

Just to make it clear before I sign off for the night that this is an inner voice and I don't actually hear in in my ears or enter into open dialogue with it in busy shopping centres.....the caffeine withdrawal hasn't driven me that mad......yet!!!

Oh!! One more thing....detox headache has gone.....yay!!


xxx Jo

Day 85, 85 to go....First impressions count

Just scribbling some notes about the IMT session I have just done I so don't forget.....

• Getting better at the balance....can almost touch the floor 5 times in succession without wobbling about


• Going through it with the video is still useful as I am determined to master this properly. I am now working through by myself and listening to tips on posture and using the spaces in between to sip water....got a pint and a half down today


• My posture is getting better.....I am doing this painstakingly, because I am certain the getting these fundamentals right will help in all forms of exercise, such as pilates and bellydance....I am already noticing that my resting posture is improving because I am making certain I pull my shoulders back and lift my head. Sometimes I feel as though I am strutting my stuff though, as no-one else seems to walk like that. It is amazing how many sets of rounded shoulders you spot when you are posture aware.....


• Boob obstruction. I have to be frank here. There are certain exercises that I find challenging because of my, errrrr, over endowment in this area. They seem to get in the way when I am lifting a weight above my head and my upper arms kind of brush off them.

That's all for now....have had my detox lemon and hot water, then my spirulina and lecithin shake and am off to have an omlette and some fruit/almonds. I have also put my washing machine on, incidentally......

I am busy today and if you see me on here between now and this evening I am slacking.....

Goals?

Have a cuppa with a friend

IMT X 2

Focus at work and work smart to achieve a multitude of tasks

Walk 30 minutes with dogs at lunch time (not great exercise, we are talking terriers here, stop, start, sniff, stop, start, wee- but better than nothing)

Purchase chicken, duck breasts for tomorrow, eggs and breakfast things from butcher's to support a weekend of great eating

Do something special for husband dear

Good self talk.....challenging, yes, impossible, no....challenging, yes, impossible, no

xxxxxxx

Day 4 still, review and Up-date

I have decided on a new post because I can't get that stupid hi lighter thing to switch off on previous.....let's not start on a negative though, given the amazing day I have had.

Yes, I feel a bit limpy. Yes, I have had the mother of all detox headaches, like all day. Yes, at times I have been ravenous and craving a pecan Danish like never before my my life....but those goals I set earlier? Yes, I licked 'em all!!!!:

DO NOT let aches and pains transform themselves into undermining self doubts: I did my IMT twice, slowly but surely to gain that sense of mastery Dax refers to....and I enjoyed it....and I am getting more balance and flexibility every time I do it. And the great thing about it is that though I am still watching the footage every time I do it in order to ensure I commit the correct movements and technique to my brain, I will soon be able to do it anywhere, like in the living room while watching CSI, for example. Well, listening to CSI. The trickier ones for me are the ones involving squats, but I run through a few without the other movements first to make certain I am keeping a nice straight back and neck and pushing my bum out rather than sticking my knees out. It is working. I can feel the benefits already.....The wobbly ones are getting better and I am putting my foot down less and reaching down further every time. And today was my first double whammy run through. I will practice tomorrow and over the weekend with the footage in front of me and with a 1kg hand weight I am using and prime myself for solo and a 2kg weight from Monday.

DO NOT assume it is impossible just because you find it hard: I said that to myself all day...and even found myself dispensing it as advice to a friend who is struggling to change her working patterns....

Reduce portion size at dinner: I made a stew of carrots, potato, chicken, chick pea sprouts and black olive pate. Instead of using two potatoes between the two of us, I used one. Although the portion was quite big, it was made up mostly of vegetables and lean protein and served without any accompaniments.

Do IMT twice, slowly and focusing on mastery: as per above

Drink 3 litres of water and herbal tea with lemon: I discovered the beauty of drinking plain boiled water at a meeting that only had tea and coffee on offer. It goes down really nice.....and I drank my 3 litres with ease throughout the day

Phone mother: I did this too! Hurrah!!

Have coffee with a friend: Well, herbal tea! I did this today and am also seeing another friend for a cuppa tomorrow evening. Part of my magic 100 goals.

Get my (work) action plan and data crunching done by 11.30: Swapped this for clearing admin tasks and got them done so that I can do the big stuff tomorrow

Be present in this afternoon's (potentially boring) meeting: I was indeed and stayed focused and alert. I also ignore the huge plate of luxurious chocolate short breads that were situated literally under my nose for 2.5 hours. I could smell them and I was hungry. I opted instead for 10 nuts and a couple of tangerines I had in my bag.

All other aspects of my eating have been fab, omlette for breakfast and tuna, umeboshi, tamari, spinach and quinoa salad for lunch

As Paul would say, I am 'killing it'

Was it easy.....errr, no.

Was it impossible.....evidently not xxxx

Day 4, 86 to go (I had been couting wrong before)....and How did Dax Moy know that??? Magic!

Comrades, I am spellbound.

By a few things actually.

The first was an email from Dax basically predicting every sensation, ache, craving and emotion I had experienced yesterday.....magic!!! Basically a product of the combination of detox and new movements. I am still worried about my lower back, as it hurts a bit today, but not that worried and I am about to take a break and work some more on the mastery of my IMT...

The second was another email from Dax relating to the other programme I follow, the 'Magic 100' (I am doing the 'Magic 100' and '90 Day Look Great Naked Challenge' simultaneously). Quite amazing and so complimentary and the quote supplied by Dax sums up perfectly what I experienced yesterday:

"[Do not] assume it is impossible because you find it hard. Recognise that if it's humanly possible then you can do it too."

- Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor

When I re-read yesterday's struggles in the light of these two pearls of wisdom, it makes sense.

I am off to move and then to have an omlette for breakfast. I have had lemon juice and water on rising a la Gillian McKeith and also my Spirulina, Lecithin and apple juice cocktail and am feeling purposeful.

So, important goals for today:

• 
  
  DO NOT let aches and pains transform themselves into undermining self doubts


• 
  
  DO NOT assume it is impossible just because you find it hard


• 
  
  Reduce portion size at dinner


• 
  
  Do IMT twice, slowly and focussing on mastery


• 
  
  Drink 3 litres of water and herbal tea with lemon


• 
  
  Phone mother


• 
  
  Have coffee with a friend


• 
  
  Get my (work) action plan and data crunching done by 11.30


• 
  
  Be present in this afternoon's (potentially boring) meeting

I'll feed back later! xxxx

Back with a quick up-date....did my IMT slowly and with mastery in mind. A few hip twinges are natural perhaps given the movement undertaken.

Also breafasted on spinach omlette (possibly too big- used 4 eggs and feel quite full) and a teeny bit of peach, toasted flaked almonds and a tablespoon of goat's yogurt. I will not be having a snack this morning as I must lunch at 12.30 and it is 10 now!!!

Later xxx

Day 3, 97 to go....not the best of days

Hmmmmmm,

One of those days today. I knew they would come. And I must deal with them as they do, because I am not giving up.

That said, it has still been one of those days and I am afraid I am going to have a bit of a moan. Might as well get it out of the way before I can look at things in a more constructive manner....

Moan 1: I woke up with extreme pain across my lower back, the sides of my hips and shooting down my legs. For the first time in my life I had to take a painkiller for pain in a place other than my head. I was worried first, but the pain soon subsided and has been intermittent throughout the day.....when it is bad, it is very, very bad. And I am not being a 'wuss' for a change. Did I twang something during my first run through of IMT last night?? Or did I just sleep funny? I certainly had a plethora of strange dreams last night including eating curry rice and chips in a rat infested curry house by the sea....perhaps I twisted in sheer revulsion?? I am trying to decide whether or not to attend Pilates this evening, but probably will on a suck it and see basis

Moan 2: Hunger and the dreaded research tea......at the university there is an event I dread....the research tea. Literally a tea party where research is discussed. You are talking crisps, cakes, pastries and all manner of evils, accompanied by tea and intellectual wranglings. I always find it challenging, given that it occurs at 3pm, precisely the time when I am feeling my blood sugar dropping. I have been hungry all day, unusually hungry. I had my usual sinless muesli and yogurt at 7 for breakfast, some fruit, nuts and yogurt at 10 and a lunch of spinach and chicken salad with one of my home made gluten free flatbreads. In order to stave off hunger and prepare for the dreaded carbfest at 3, I ate an apple, a satsuma and a few almonds. I drank water all day. Still hungry......and upon arrival at the research tea resolved to eat nothing. This was hard, especially when you can smell the butter cream in the raspberry Swiss roll situated right under your nose....And I did eat nothing. Until I spotted the dried figs. And ate 5 of them. Now in an ideal world, that would be ok. I made a healthy choice. I didn't eat anything too bad. But 5 large, dried figs in quick succession. Was there really any need for that? As Paul Mort would say, the 'Former Fat Girl' in me reared her, errrrr, wobbly head. Did I fail? I will think about that and report back later...


20.10

Well, later is here and I am resolved to make a success of this strange old day. Will that involve a degree of self-delusion? Not at all.....but a positive platform is essential when things are a bit askew, I feel.
Mid and lower back/hip pains still there....and I decided to put off going to Pilates. I will instead move through my IMT programme carefully, slowly and without holding any weight in order to spend my time fruitfully and constructively, yet carefully. My back ached all the way home on the train, and I felt tired and flagging. I didn't work huge hours today and was out of the house a straight 11 hours, though had several meetings and not much time for a head break.
Still, I accomplished a lot. My goals for today were food, Pilates (which I will replace with the gentle IMT session) and water drinking. I also resolved to sort out my desk and task list and set up for the next two days working from home, which I did really successfully. Having left my office in a hurry due to the onset of the virus I had on Friday, I returned to piles of ad hoc stuff from the day's lecturing lying in piles all over the place, a situation I abhor. I usually spend time each evening putting things away, noting tasks, sorting loose ends and shutting my head down before I leave the office, which is what I accomplished today. Only, I spent all day doing that in between research meetings. It was time well spent and I have neat piles of work at home with me in need of action. Given that I had had two days at home with the lurgy, I caught up quick. Despite having too much on my plate, I feel a sense of control and possibility in my work, as opposed to the overwhelmed feelings I had on Monday and Tuesday whilst working remotely.

I thought about those figs on the way home.....so, were they a healthy eating victory in the face of chocolate macaroons, tortilla chips and Turkish delight, or were they a failure?

A bit of both, I would conclude. OK, I chose something more sensible that I might have done a few months ago. But was I hungry? Perhaps, but was it just a blood sugar dip/outcome of detoxing and could I have resolved it by drinking water? I think so. They were yummy, and a better of several evils, but 5 was unnecessary and greedy. And it might have been 6, if I think about it.

That's all for today. Tomorrow, providing my back is OK, I am going to try a complete run through of IMT in the morning and the evening. Wish me well.

Goodnight xxxx

Day 2, 98 to go: My Goals in Pictures and a Recipe I Invented....

This morning I had more time than usual, given that I am working from home. I got up and did some work before breakfast and gave myself a 40 minute break to achieve the following:

• I made up a spirulina, lecithin and apple juice shake
  
  

• I whisked some lovely Old Cotswold eggs and made an omlette using 'good oil'




• I finished this off with a handful of nuts and enjoyed a lovely breakfast













• I then prepared my fridge for the shopping and was delighted that we had used everything from last week, rendering it bare. I love a sparkling clean fridge ready for shopping.....maybe I am a bit odd!!!














• I made certain my cupboards were ready for the shopping and that the foods I will eat (with the exception of Tuna and Olives which are mine also but must live on another shelf) will be on the bottom shelf. This follows the principle 'If you own it you can eat it'. My hubby now owns the pasta and pad Thai noodles that live on the second shelf, as well as the baked beans!! I happily discovered some rice noodles lurking at the back and checked the ingredients....no wheat, nothing artificial. Hurrah!!!
  

• I also checked my 'sprouter', watered the chick pea sprouts that are growing and then added some aduki beans I had soaked overnight.....very wholesome!

So, good progress so far......main goals for today are elimination eating, being kind to stressed out hubby and doing first session of IMT.......

I will up-date with pics of my abundance filled fridge and cupboards later!!

Some further musings:

Have just decided to banish my scales. My regular weighing is becoming demotivating and I can't help feeling a little disappointed about the fact that 10 days of 'pure' eating have not seen a shift at all. Currently I weigh myself about 3 times a day. When the scales do not shift, a little voice of doubt creeps into the back of my mind.....and the negative self-talk has room to flourish.

It is a strange thing, self-talk. My consciousness is obviously all geared up for action, and that little negative voice seems to know it is going to have to be extremely sneaky to get past my positivity. But it is trying!!! Believe me. It started yesterday when I was languishing and recovering from this virus I have. I was reading an article in either Top Sante or the Holland and Barrett magazine on releasing your authentic self and accepting who you are for what you are. It asked you to consider reasons why you are not happy with yourself and why you tend to fixate on your physical appearance. For me it is simple, the desire to be attractive, accepted, affirmed and loved...... But the article then went on to ask what you can do to accept yourself the way you are more...

What???? Self acceptance? Surely that is dangerous for me given my focus on personal change??

Alarm bells started to ring and the negative chatter disguised itself as affirmative self talk....'See, you don't have to do all of this radical stuff....people should accept you as you are....you always make an effort to look good....you have a great wardrobe.....sexiness is an inner quality after all' and so on.

I felt a bit panicked and suppose I still do, but this does not detract from the fact that I am unhappy with my current physical form. I don't see weight loss as some magical panacea that will cure all aspects of my life and make me a worthwhile person. I am much deeper and more valuable than that.....but it is a realistic health goal that will enhance many aspects of my already successful and happy existence. So shut up negative chatterbox and get some nuts and seeds down your whingeing little neck!! He he....

Another form of negative self-talk seems to stem from your brain's ability to say......'Well, you've done GI, Red Days, points counting, gym membership, this that and the other and nothing has really worked so far....and look at your fads.....you go through months where you buy loads of GI, then red day/green day stuff and all this mental focus comes to nothing'. In support of my 'reticular activating system' I have decided to examine some of these 'fads' as stopping off points on my journey. Some of these relate to non-diet based stuff I have trialled.......

• The GI diet 2005: Great weight loss? No....but it did lead to better understanding of the effect of foods with a high GI rating on my physical and mental well being. What have I taken from this? Pulses and lentils have become a staple and this has helped me in the long run


• Going to the Gym every day 2005: Great weigh loss? No....but I did get fitter and it prepared me for the learning I gained from working with Paul Mort about what really works to shift fat. I have also created my own 'gym' by walking whenever I can, doing Bellydance and Pilates weekly and will add to this with Dax Moy's IMT plan



• Red days, green days, points counting: Great weightloss? Yes, 4 stones, though the principle of counting things as sinful foods has ceased to work
  


• Time management and motivational training/reading: Do I consciously stick to every one of these principles every waking moment? No! But my approach to demarcation, quality time, professional time management, getting chores like the ironing and shopping done is fantastic!! I used to be a lazy, disorganised wreck of a woman who never ironed anything til the last minute and had a problem managing tasks and deadlines. For the past three years, I have established a healthy but flexible routine that includes effectiveness at work (demonstrated by a number of promotions leading to the job I want to do), excellent personal grooming, and an organised household which extends to a fridge which is always well stocked with good stuff, a well maintained wardrobe and good routines for cooking, lunch prep etc....total transformation!

I will not forget how far I have come in terms of personal development....
So shut up, negative head

Back later....

Later....Well, my shopping was delivered ......and I excitedly opened the bags to reveal a ton of pure food goodies.....

My vegetable tray doesn't usually look that much different from this, though I added celery hearts and avocados to liven things up a bit. Cherry tomatoes, courgettes and sugar snap peas are staples already

My fridge now looks great, filled with Spinach, bio live Goat's yogurt, chicken and turkey and apple juice for my morning spirulina shake. I also bought goat's butter.....I am scared to eat it, based on the fact that I stopped eating butter or anything similar when I gave up bread ages ago. I would love to enhance some of my meals with butter, and must seek advice from Dax. It is on 'the list' however.

For the freezer, I bought Soya Beans, summer fruits and king prawns.
My store cupboard ingredients contain everything I need to make nutritious, pure and tasty food, from Aubergine Pesto to Harrissa paste and Tamari Soya. In addition to this, I stocked up on a plethora of pulses, nuts and seeds as well as gluten free flour to make my own organic flat breads. Flax seed oil will come in handy when making dressings with Umeboshi plum paste or black olive pate. Looking good!!! I made a fantastic lunch of baked potato served on a bed of raw baby spinach leaves and dressed with umeboshi plum paste, flax seed oil and rice vinegar and topped with a concoction of stir fried carrot slices, pine nuts, chick peas, chicken and aubergine pesto. Extremely tasty and sustaining- three hours later and I only just considering having a few seeds and an apple....back later xxx

Back...and with news of a recipe.....what do you make from Umbrian lentils, turkey breast fillet, carrots, celery, frozen Soya beans, garlic, passata, organic vegetable boullion, onions and black olive pate?

Umbrian lentil stew.....it was lovely.

I started by using my new gluten free flour to make a dough by adding a bit of flax oil and some warm water and mixing until nice and pliable.

I let that stand for a while so I could put my lentils in a pan full of water to boil for 15 minutes. I had time to finely slice some carrots an onions and heat a lump of Goat's butter and a dash of olive oil on my wok (I use my wok to cook everything in the world). To this, I added the carrots, an inch worth of garlic puree and the diced turkey. After a few minutes, I added a teaspoon of my newly acquired black olive pate and allowed the whole lot to cook while I shaped my flat breads. It smelled lovely.

Initially I had hoped that I would get instantly better outcomes than I had with the Soya flour I used last week, though rolling the dough balls into thin breads really isn't an option because without the glutenous pull, they just fall apart. After flailing around a bit, I decided to throw away the rolling pin (not literally) and shape the breads into little patties.

Meanwhile, I added some passata, water, and a teaspoon of bouillon to my wok and checked to see how the lentils were doing. After about 5 minutes I drained them and added them to the wok with my other ingredients along with a cupful of frozen soya beans. While this was bubbling away nicely, I headed a non stick pan which I sprayed with a mist of olive oil and when very hot flung on my flat breads to cook. They turned easily and cooked nicely.

I lined two pasta dished with a good handful of raw spinach and sprinked these with a bit of soya lechithin and a drizzle of flax oil. I usually serve stews and curries on raw spinach and feel it adds texture and colour as well as making the meal look more substantial, especially when serving without rice or grains.

Et Voila......a nice rustic stew and flat bread invented from scratch.

The verdict....really enjoyable but I ate too much. I didn't make quite enough to dish up for lunch so served the whole lot and it was deceptively filling. The butter scares me a bit. I have spent so ling dry frying everything that I wasn't accustomed to the richness of flavour it gives the meal and it felt very, very rich....my hubby said perhaps a bit too rich. I will put less in next time......

In 30 minutes I am going to slowly move through my IMT

schedule and try to commit to memory as much as possible. I have enjoyed having the space and time to do a visual blog today, though time will be limited for the rest of the week.....

I will try and get on to post initial thoughts about the movement thing....

20:58....I did it!!! I had been putting it off to be honest and was scared in case I did something wrong and ended up in traction. The IMT clip is extremely well modelled and easy to follow. The movements are also extremely complimentary to the stuff I am doing in Pilates and even Bellydance.....

I have decided to run through in the evenings tomorrow until I am comfortable with the movement before daring to attempt when I blunder out of bed at 6.15....

Good new is that my day starts and ends at home Thu and Fri so I should be able to get into the twice daily routine ok by then. After all, I said I would be willing to pay the cost didn't I??

Anyway, I have Pilates for an hour tomorrow evening, so I am not really cheating. Until tomorrow xxxx (feeling good!) Jo

Re-alignment.....This is now Day 1, 89 to go

Hi there,

I have decided to re-align my days for the magic 100 and the 90 day challenge and meld them together in the same melting pot, so to speak.

I have spent a bit of time personalising the blog and adding pictures to mark the start of my journey.....risky but powerful, I feel. What better incentive can I have? I can't wait to post new pics in 90 days.

Eating has been great today, usual gluten free cereal for breakfast, herbal teas and the rest of yesterday's home made turkey and rice Pilaf for lunch. Nuts and seeds in between.....I worry sometimes that I eat too many of them. About 6-10 at a time.....twice a day. Fingers crossed. They keep you really full though and seem to banish churning.

Still not well....so going back to bed with a lemsip now, but will be back later.

I wanted to add a few words though about how I ended up here, and will muse on this as I sleep.....but to summarise:

• Weight problems since a child


• Recent weight gain....weight went to 17 stones by 2006


• Reduction to 12st5 by 2007


• Plateau for a year


• Weight has now risen to 13st5 in 2008


• Tired of points counting, red days etc....these have become ineffective and demotivating


• Decided to try a famous branded sachet diet that promised 3 stone loss in 100 days


• Talked out of this by Paul Mort of Precision Fitness!!


• Felt disappointed.....wanted a quick fix


• Paul put me onto Dax Moy's site and .....here I am

So there....that is how it happened. Sleep now xxxx

22:00

Well, I recovered a bit and managed bellydance tonight. Such fun! Makes you feel extremely womanly and it great for the lower back, thighs and tummy. A great food day all in all.....finished the day with a teeny baked potato made with a curry I flung together from home grown chick pea sprouts made in my sprouter, cherry tomatoes, curry spices, goat's yoghurt and mint.......it was really lovely and pure too.

So, no caffiiene, loads of herbal tea, nothing processed, no lactose or sugar, took my spirulina, coenzyme and fish oil.....got 2 weeks worth of ironing done, all on a day when I felt really ropey with a bug.

Tomorrow.....need to consider goals in the morning....have been a bit lax, possibly because they are being mentally edited in line with new 90 day challenge. Also need to make time in the evening to practise new movement regimen sent by Dax

Til then xxxx Jo

Day 7, 93 to go and one day until the start of my 90 day 'Look Great Naked' Challenge

Well, what a weekend!

I started the day well yesterday despite horrid cold and did the family thing ok.

I had started the day with some gluten free cereal, goat's yogurt and some quality butcher's bacon, eggs and his home-made (ultra lean) sausages to stock myself up for a family get together where force feeding was likely to have been on the agenda......

Took my 'nut case' with me and an apple and left after a herbal tea audit (yes, it is true!!! Having had a quick peek at the naked/90 day plan emailed by Dax I noted that all tea and coffee are going to be off limits, at least for 21 days....and set about scavenging through the cupboard, chucking any out of date ones in the compost bin, recycling the boxes and coming up with a tub of mixed delights including nettle, ginger, ayurvedic, detox, peppermint and loganberry teas for home and another for work, which I actually put in my work bag, ready.....talk about reticular activating system kicking in!!!) and a lovely scrubby shower. I dressed nice in accordance with my goals and braced myself for an afternoon with the outlaws (!).

When I got there I was asked why I didn't want lunch and tried to explain the following: lactose/wheat intolerance, having tried everything, the need to avoid all processed foods, plateau....etc. You would think I know what I am talking about, given that I have already lost 4 stones over the past 2 years....but I got a bit of a rebound.....'another fad?', 'don't you just think you should cut out fat?' (growwwwwwl!!!), 'what pleasure do you have left in your life??!!'.

As it happens, my considerate MIL had prepared nude salad and some lean ham and pastrami for me anyway with a boiled egg and some fruit salad to follow. This was nice of her and I ate with the family (just a little- was not that hungry given the breakfast I had had) and shut up about my goals and 'fads'.

I got home and cleaned the upstairs of the stricken ship that my house had become, given that I was away all last weekend and had a tough working week. I cleaned everything well, washed windows, buffed mirrors, dusted behind things and changed the bed. This was to make mental and physical space for Sunday (which I will come onto later) and I delegated the cleaning of downstairs to my husband, who would perform this task then. I have decided that I will clean one floor really well every week and the other will get a dusting and a hoovering, except the kitchen and bathrooms which are always well maintained and disinfected anyway. I have to make space for other goals.....oh, and this cleaning ritual is another one of those goals.

So, onto dinner, which was a chicken, king prawn and chick pea stew served with home made egg fried brown rice and followed with some peaches topped with goat's yog and toasted almonds. Yummy.

Off to bed at a reasonable hour, given that I still feel rubbish and loaded with cold.

Onto today.....Mind and Body Sunday!!!

I started with fruit, gluten free muesli, spirulina and sugar free apple juice and a cup of nettle tea before attending a 3-hour Pilates workshop. It was great, though I know it is something that will take time and energy to master. Let's just say I had a giggle whilst trying to isolate some of the muscles in the, errrrrrr, pelvic floor. I found that I am really stiff and tight around the shoulders too, possibly due to being over endowed in the boob department. I will do some door stretched between now and my first weekly class on Weds. evening.

It was a good experience and I came home, cooked a lunch of leftover lean bacon, king prawns, veg and butter beans served on raw spinach and followed up with fruit, nuts and yogurt.

I then had a sleep because I was feeling really poorly and rose at 6.30 to give some serious though to those goals and the start of my 90 day 'Look Great Naked' challenge tomorrow.

I don't' have any cupboards to clean out as my diet has been quite good recently and the only offending items are some fresh pad Thai noodles and bags of pasta which my husband will eat. Sugar and sugary foods do not live here, and I have not eaten bread regularly for years. So that was easy.

Based on Dax' advice, I looked at my shopping list due for delivery Tuesday and changed it to this:

1 x Sainsbury's Caribbean Home Ripen Bananas x6
Sainsbury's Sugar Snap Peas 200g -
St Helen's Farm Goat's Butter, Slightly Salted 250g
Citrus - Total Price
x Sainsbury's Pine Nuts 100g -
Crazy Jacks Flaked Almonds, Organic 75g -
Dove's Farm Gluten Free Flour 1kg
1.881 x Clearspring Tamari Manson, Organic Wheat Free Soy Sauce 150ml - Total Price
Sainsbury's Limes x1 -
Sainsbury's Lemons, Unwaxed x6
Granovita Organic Flaxseed Oil 260ml
Sainsbury's Avocado Hass - Total Price GBP
Marigold Swiss Vegetable Bouillon Powder 150g -
Birt & Tang Detox Herbal Tea 20's 78g -
Sainsbury's Nut Selection, Unsalted 200g -
Sainsbury's Macadamia Nuts 100g -
Sainsbury's Pecans 200g -
Quinoa Real Graine de Quinoa 500g -
Merchant Gourmet Puy Lentils 500g -
Sainsbury's Dried Red Lentils 500g
Sainsbury's Free From Corn Pasta Penne 500g -
Bartolini Umbrian Lentils 500g -
El Artesano Judion Butter Beans, Large 580g -
Ismael Black Olive Pate 120g -
Sainsbury's Red Dessert Apples x6 -
Sainsbury's Courgettes, Basics 1kg -
Sainsbury's Carrots 1kg - Total Price
Sainsbury's White Closed Cup Mushrooms 500g -
Sainsbury's Mixed Peppers x3 -
Sainsbury's Cherry Tomatoes 350g -
Sainsbury's Celery, Hearts -
Sainsbury's Cucumber, Whole -
Sainsbury's Chillies, Mixed 50g -
Sainsbury's Turkey Breast Fillets (approx. 500g) -
Sainsbury's Eggs Mixed Weight,
St Helens Farm Natural Goats Milk Yogurt 450g
Belazu Harrissa,
Sainsbury's Italian Passatta Sauce
Sainsbury's Chopped Tomatoes
Natures Finest Peach Slices In Juice
Sainsbury's Jumbo King Prawns, Taste the Difference 180g -
Sainsbury's Frozen Black Forest Fruits Mix 500g
Summer Fruit Berries, Be Good To Yourself 500g -
Morliny Oak Smoked Ham 120g - Total Price GBP
Sainsbury's Garlic Puree in Oil 90g
Sacla' Coriander Pesto 190g -
Sainsbury's Satsumas x8 -
Sainsbury's Pumpkin Seeds 100g -
Sainsbury's Washed Young Spinach 225g -
Sainsbury's Sunflower Seeds
Sainsbury's Onions Loose
Sainsbury's Aduki Beans 410g (235g*) -
Birds Eye Soya Beans 480g -
Sainsbury's Sweet Potatoes 1kg -
Clearspring Umeboshi Puree
Sainsbury's Baking Potatoes (loose) -
Sacla Pesto, Char grilled Aubergine 190g -

Well, I think it is looking pretty good. Though will cost a bomb, but I don't plan on eating out much in the near future anyway. On this subject though, I have narrowed down eating out options to a couple of good places. One is a gastro pub in the next village that do a load of fresh, protein based goodies like blackened tuna with sweet potato chips (baked) and scallops by the bowl full. The other is a flat bread cafe that do all natural foods such as chick pea, sweet potato and coconut things, though served with flat bread so I suppose I will have to think that one through. Might be worth asking them is they can do me some gluten free breads.....

So, I looked at my 90 day look great naked challenge, watched some inspirational video and audio footage posted by Dax Moy and started to think again about those goals.

Over the next few days I will be re-aligning my Magic 100 goals ( I have been making a running list as I have been studying/reading) and some big questions for me centre around what I really want, why I want it (deep soul searching needed!!), what the costs will be and whether I am willing to pay.

Answers so far are:

I want to lose 26 pounds in 90 days
I want to lose this because I feel fat, ugly and unattractive....unlovable I suppose
I will have to pay in terms of time, financial costs, sacrificing some easy food options, as well as foods I like, a certain degree of discomfort, tough times, tiredness, scheduling issues, persuasion of friends and family etc....
I willing to pay.....oh, yes I am

I liked the thing Dax said about standing close to the beams of the headlights and trying to see ahead as far as I can. Everyone always tells me I look fab because I have gone from a size 24 to a 16, but I am not happy. I don't feel fab. I suspect that some people are actually threatened by the chances of me succeeding....it would certainly seem that way.

I looked in the mirror in the Pilates studio today and saw this lumpen, middle aged woman looking back at me. I barely recognised her. And then I thought 'Shit!!!!! That's me!!!'

Believe me, I am ready.

Anyway, ended my day with dinner made from things I scrabbled round for in the freezer.....a minced turkey and vegetable Pilaf. It was yummy. Great food day. No wheat, caffeine, milk, booze (a given with me anyway) or sugars.

Rock on.......see you tomorrow. Posting will be a challenge as I start at 7, finish at 7, bellydance at 7.30 and need to have dinner and a bit of a break sometime around 9. Bedtime at 10!!! Lordy xxxxx Jo