Day 69....where did that waggon go??

Right,

I have 10 minutes to up-date you so will do in in bullet points. Paul Mort texted me last night to remind me that I hadn't done this for ages (thanks Paul!!!) and caught me tucking into a passion fruit Creme Brulee at my Christmas meal. So.....

• Last week was emotionally awful....two bereavements, friends in emotional strife, major work being done to my kitchen, another friend rushed into hospital with life-threatening issues
• I fell off the waggon basically. Initially with a huge pork and stuffing sarnie, a bag of crisps and a chocolate eclair and then with 4 slices of sponge cake on Monday and a tier of Milk Tray chocs on Tuesday
• We are talking engorgement here.....
• After pouring my heart out to Dax and Paul, I realised emotional eating was getting me nowhere and no going to bring my friend back
• I went out for lunch and dinner yesterday and did ok. The only thing I ate that was slightly suspect was the creme brulee, which I enjoyed very much
• Exercise has been patchy.
• I lied there, it has not really happened. I feel achy and lack lustre and am not really getting there, though managing once a day
• I am now doing 'eat stop eat' as recommended by Dax. I feel that this two-day per week fast could be right up my street as when I am good I am very very good.....and focussed too
• I have not eaten since last night and am feeling a bit muddled (not sleeping well though) and strange, and hungry....though coping somehow.
• I feel I can do this
• The ship is turning slowly, but it is turning.........
• No significant weight gain strangely........

So, the plan

• Revisit goals asap and stop munching stuff
• Brave a work out on a seriously empty tummy
• Try this two day a week fast during Christmas and eat as healthily as possible
• Use the Christmas break as space to get back on track with work outs- it is amazing how quicly you seize up when you lose that momentum
• Stop moaning and get on with it- though give myself permission to enjoy life
• Remember to celebrate successes- I bumped into a former student yesterday who was amazed at how much better I look after 2 years. She said '10 years younger and cooler' ....bless!!!

That's all for now. Now, where did that waggon go??!!

xxx Jo

Day 54....3 punds heavier than this time last week....gaaaaah!!!

I cannot believe this!!

Why is this so slow??

For much of the week, I have followed the following eating template:

Breakfast: either a slice of rye toast and a banana or omlette and a veggie shake

Snack: crudites or veg shake

Lunch: chicken salad, no dressing every day

Snack: 3 oatcakes

Dinner: Plain old lean meat or fish and a pile of veggies

I have bust a gut working out and not missed a single session....add that to an hour and a half of pilates on Weds.

So what is the problem here??

Still focussed, still motivated......and still waiting!!!

xxx Jo

Day 52.....A bit confused

So how come I am putting on weight? I was 11 stone 9 on Sunday, 11 stone 10 on Tuesday and now I am 11 stone 12.5!! I haven't put a foot wrong.....am eating teeny amounts of carb and no carbs after 6pm and doing all that is expected of me on the work-out front too.

Had a fab Pilates session last night.

I am not saying that this plan is having no impact.....I am fitter, stronger, more focussed, more flexible and am starting to feel slimmer....

It is just that my weight is so volatile....

Help!!!


xx

Day 49....tired and floppy

Maybe it is the grey, cold weather.....?

Maybe it is the fact that it is December........?

Perhaps it is just the way I am feeling..........?

Fact is, I am tired and floppy and could just curl up in a ball!!

Food wise I have been a saint. Exercise has been a bit hit and miss......nothing on Thu, one on Fri, a double session in the morning on Sat, two sessions yesterday and did my workout this morning. So more hit than miss perhaps, but I need to be more consistent.

The wave plan is great, though I do get tired of eating chicken and celery sometimes. Am getting better at making veg shakes and this morning's carrot, celery, spinach and red pepper combo was lovely and sweet.

It is starchy carb day tomorrow and am looking forward to a banana for my breakfast!! Mmmmm.

Lunch today was simple but lovely. Sliced chicken breast, spinach leaves and cherry tomatoes. Oh, and a boiled egg. That was it! Nothing more, nothing less. No dressing, toasted seeds. Just fresh and simple flavours and I loved it. Have snacked on vegetable juice, a few nuts and some celery and carrots today.

I am determined that this week is going to me my week.....

xxx Jo

Day 44....oh bugger

Hi there,

Food wise...I am doing great....my appetite seems to have reduce and my shape is definately changing

Excercise wise I am having one day off...........just one. This is because I was poorly this morning (honest! very poorly tummy.....No excuses!!) and I have had a facial this evening and don't want to get all sweaty and worked up after that experience of bliss.

One day off only....trust me!!

This is working

However, I texted Paul Mort today to see if he would go soft on me (because I knew Dax would not) and let me do a work out double up in the evenings rather than Am and PM.....he said that twice a day hits the metabolism twice and reminded me that everything I want is just outside of my comfort zone......

So will I work out tonight despite facial??

Course I will.....going to keep that comfort zone in my mind as I progress as morning sessions are getting harder to get up for.........

xxxx Jo

Day 43....I believe....

To follow on from Dax' initiative, here is what I believe......(related to my current quest)

• I believe I have both the capacity and the ability to achieve my goals
• I believe I am a committed and tenacious person
• I believe I have the drive and the commitment to realise my dreams
• I believe that I can do the impossible I you commit
• I believe that my aspirations are the most important fuel for action
• I believe that sometimes I sell myself short, and this must change
• I believe I make excuses and I must learn to take responsibility
• I believe I sometimes blame my past for the challenges I experience today and it is time to reset the way I see things
• I believe I lie to myself and I must face the truth
• I believe I sometimes flake out when the going gets tough and I must stand up again
• I believe I can procrastinate and I must embrace the moment
• I believe I can change all of these things from this day forward
• I know I am going to win this one.....

xx Jo

Day 39- OMG today was hard....really hard...., really, really hard

Tired

Have gained a couple of pounds back despite staying completely 'on message'

And was starving today as my veggie shake was grim (too much gloopy Kale) and I rushed out of the house with barely anything on my tummy to do a really hard gig.

I was launching my first big research project to a crowd of potentially terrifying participants, and though it went really well, the leached me of energy!!

The food we had laid on for them was the big problem. In the morning, coffee, tea, pastries, muffins, smoothies......and there I am standing there with s stick of celery and a small tub of a bad batch of red pepper hummus I had made. I was famished and nearly fell off the waggon, telling myself I deserved a day off and the rest of the rubbish you tell yourself at these times.

But I persevered and at lunch time, the wheat free lunch I had ordered turned out to be full of pasta and dressing (??!!) which I rejected. The plates of wraps and sandwiches were screaming at me as the glycogen seeped out of my system, as were the slices of walnut cake.

I resisted and tucked into my dry, unappealing and hastily prepared 'plan B' lunch of spinach leaves, chicken and seeds.

But I did it. My head was banging as it has started to do on low carb days, but I did it. So hurrah!!

Have just made a chicken biryani using Quinoa instead of rice with a fresh veg curry sauce....lovely.

Lord knows where these pounds keep rebounding from.....my weight really is a bugger to shift!!!

Catch you tomorrow

xxx

Day 37....yee-haaaaa!!

Another pound off on the scales this morning which means 5 this week ( I think) and a total of 8 since starting the programme

And there I was thinking about quitting a week ago.......

There is a lesson in there I think

Feeling energetic, committed, focussed and happy.....oh, and slimmer!! What a difference that 8 pounds has made to how my waistline feels. Bought some fab black 'skinny flare' yesterday and they look crackin'........

Other good news is that my new food processor is making light work of soups, casseroles, home-made hummous and the veggie shakes I am having for breakfast. Have just had a red cabbage, goat's yoghurt, celery, red pepper and goat's yoghurt smoothie and it was surprisingly yummy. I might add an apple to tomorrow's as it is 'carb' day.....


xxxx

Day 36....going strong

Just a quick up-date

Scales said I am 12 st 11 this morning, which means 5 pounds lighter than 6 days ago...

Working hard at my movement and eating like an angel....really into this.......

Money is tight as good quality protein in the form of meat is not cheap!! However, I am managing to supplement with home made hummous, some quinoa and le Put lentils so over all things are good.....

Watch this space!! xx

Day 33.....Rapido!!

Good thing to note today....weight and shape are moving fast

On day 3 of my low carb days and coping though growing tired of meat!! Looking forward to a few starchy carbs tomorrow!!

I haven't felt too bad over all.......a bit headachy yesterday perhaps, but can feel the impact immediately. And the scales agree. I don't plan an all-out carbo fest tomorrow...and will have a few to supplement my protein rather than the other way round.

I almost went awry today....some might say I did. I missed morning exercise because I didn't get in from a night out until past 1 (drinking water!!) and then couldn't sleep. I was delivering lectures all day today to a group of new post grads on a topic I had never taught before so for once I resolved to do a double up this evening and did just that. I have a few reps to finish soon (mat work, interrupted by the arrival of dinner) but am pleased with having coped despite tiredness and a 6 day week.

However, I did order an Indian takeaway this evening and had tandoori meat and king prawns on a bed of spinach I prepared myself and with my own home-made Goat's yogurt Riatha. All protein, no banned stuff I think.....but a bit saturated in fat and not what I plan to repeat any time soon.

Off to finish today's reps....xxxx

Jo

Day 32....full of 'beans'....

Just a quickie,

I have been doing the Wave plan for 2 days now and am finding the physical sensation quite curious. I have been hungry, but the hunger is different to what I used to mistake as hunger and more bearable (though I have been eating every 3 hours too). It is totally different to the carb craving followed by carbs type of hunger I usually get at 10 and 3.

I feel leaner and quite detoxed. It is difficult and challenging, but feels somehow more manageable.

Strangely, I have just had a 3 egg omlette and a smoothie I made from a handful of kale, goat's yoghurt, a carrot and a stick of celery. It was strange, but palatable......odd.

I feel a bit hungry now.....only half an hour after and this must be due to my glycogen stores reducing

Did all my movement yesterday and started this morning with power circuit. Gave it my best.

So, all is ok....I hope I don't rob some random person of their ficelle as they walk through the city in a state of carb starvation, but apart from that, so real worries

xxx

Day 30....the storm has passed....

I went a bit mental yesterday, colleagues.

Having (calmly, initially) discovered the truth about my slow progress, I went a bit berserk and decided to jack it all in and do either lighter life or Cambridge....based on the fact that I am able to suffer discomfort, hardship and pay the price as long as I get results.

I left the online community, emailed Dax to say goodbye and stomped around in a mood.

I then slumped onto the sofa in a petulant manner and resolved not to do my dumbbell matrix. And watched TV all night......

Strange that. Did I have a coffee or a glass of wine or pig out?? No! Because there was nothing about my mood that was based on dissatisfaction with the plan....just the outcomes. In fact, while sitting there painting my nails, I actually decided to not return to eating from the banned list. That wasn't the point, after all.

And then a strange thing happened at 9.50pm. I just got up and did my exercises, and worked hard at it too......

I then stomped off to bed and lay there thinking about the sachet diet I planned to embrace before drifting off into a sleep that was full of odd dreams about iced, heart shaped cakes with the inscription 'So sorry, Jo' piped onto them.....

And then I woke up. And did my power circuit......strange that eh? Wasn't I quitting?

'Well, yes, I still am......just, you know....'

I got a very supportive email from Dax, who must see this sort of defeatism all of the time and I churlishly picked up my ball and decided to play again

I will be back to comment on the new habits I must form to do this new thing....which I embrace.

Just been to Pilates and booked in twice weekly sessions for January....love it and hate it simultaneously.....such is life eh?

So, did I fall off the waggon at all then? No!!! I find that very strange, in a good way....

Good night (and thanks Dax!!!) xxxx Jo

Day 29...the need to move beyond my comfort zone, faced with null results...

Oh dear, Comrades....

I did my measurements today and things have not changed....having lost only one kilo in the last 10 days and actually gained 2cm overall. What is happening here?

I am excercising, staying away from the banned list and feeling committed, though really really sad about the limited impact so far. Sure, I feel better and more flexible and all the rest, but I want results.

Perhaps I am still getting too much sugar in the form of dried fruit between meals, and it is possible that the brazil nuts I am eating do not work for my body, so I am going to give them all the chop from now and do an even stricter detox. And if after 10-30 days I am still not getting results I will panic. Seriously.

I have been doing some thinking about my personal comfort zone in the light of the words of Paul Mort, who has helped me greatly......


''I must give credit for some of this e-mail to my friend Shondelle myles over in LA who first introduced me to motivational speaker and Guru Les Brown. (You must check out some of his stuff on youtube by the way!)

He recently made this AMAZING statement that is so, so true!

'If you do what's hard, your life will be easy. If you do what's easy your life will be hard'
WOW!
This is soooo simple, yet totally inspires me. It applies not only to EVERYTHING in life but HUGELY to our health, fitness and fat loss goals.

Everything you’ve ever wanted really is just outside your comfort zone but what are you REALLY prepared to do to make your goals a reality?

Getting up in the morning to train is HARD
Doing interval training rather than power walking or jogging is HARD

Motivating yourself to exercise after a long day at work is HARD

Avoiding the many tempting foods that make you gain fat is HARD

Writing down what you eat and eating every 3 hours is pretty HARD

Drinking 3 litres or more of water a day can be HARD

Endless reps of push-ups, lunges and squats are HARD.

Making better choices when you eat out is HARD

Skipping dessert and the glass of wine at dinner is often HARD

However, in the bigger picture, pushing yourself to do these HARD things DEFINITELY make your life easier and all together more enjoyable by:

• Giving your confidence and self esteem a massive boost
• Turbo Charging your metabolism making it EASIER to burn fat
• Boosting your energy making everything you do a little easier
• Eliminating many medications you might be taking for diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol

The bottom line is, eating right, exercising regularly, and taking time for yourself to IS sometimes HARD, but the benefits you will reap will FAR outweigh the discomfort you feel in the moment.

Do what is hard and reap the benefits

After all- Everything You Have Ever Wanted IS Just Outside Your Comfort Zone'

See Paul's full post at: https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=37075819&postID=5363641300289355428



Good words....I can add that getting a null result after 30 days is also hard....bloody hard and I will go and reflect on that one!! xxx

Jo

Day 27.....all is still ok

Almost 4 weeks now and I must say I am loving the food. I have found a way to make so many things from the foods available to me and the outcomes are always more tasty and easier to digest.

I have not skipped one single ex. session this week, though slightly concerned that my weight is the same as it was last week. I just can't seem to shift the pounds and am hoping that they start moving soon.....

I am feeling different physically....more toned and less bulky around the middle though am not amazed by the outcomes after a month. 3.5 pounds in weight is a bit of a let down.

Having said that, I will not give up.

I took Dax' advice and watched the IMT video again and corrected some mistakes I was making, primarily shoulders back, tummy in and butt cheeks squeezed. Getting through my routine is not a hassle and I am now doing 12 on the upper body and 16 on the lower body.

Off to make some guacamole and oatcakes....

But before I do, some of the benefits I have noticed during the first 4 weeks of the programme:

• Skin- clear, smooth, no dark circles under eyes


• Energy levels- much higher, no afternoon slump


• Sugar cravings- gone!!!


• Eating- no desire to deviate from the plan at present though a little wheat flexibility would be nice at times


• Portions- reduced


• Snacking- every 2-3 hours, not feeling any need to 'graze'


• Emotional eating- recognised via food diary and therefore minimized. I started to realise that I sometimes snacked when I was facing something challenging and almost needed to distract myself


• Flexibility- unbelievably increased


• Physique- small changes....muffin top reduced


• Motivation- high, though would be enhanced if I was seeing more results

That's all for now xxxx

Day 24.....and doing ok

Munchies today, but did all that was required of me and am getting used to smaller portions and eating a tablespoon of brown rice with my stir fry.

Tooth whitening working like a dream....feeling happy

Night night

xxx Jo

Day 22 in the Detox house....Jo has got the wind back in her sails

Just a quickie....

Yesterday- good stuff. Started IMT in the morning but ran out of time before the leg moves, so added them onto 3DDDM last night. Not ideal, but better than nothing.

Eating since the wheat/sugar/lard encounter has been excellent. Body feeling well again, bloatedness reduced and I have lost that 3 pounds again.

Just goes to show what this stuff can do to your body.......

This morning I have done power circuit....fab!! By 40 reps, I am doing 2 rotations of the upper body as 1 rep....so back and forth = 1....hope that is right.

The best thing to report is my skin....unbelievable. Dark circles and puffiness around the eyes banished- my skin has never looked so radiant, ever.

I started this morning's food with a 3 egg omelet and a few prunes with goat's yoghurt. I didn't fancy rye bread today so chose fruit instead.

Lunch will be vegetable and lentil soup I made Sunday and dinner.....well, who knows eh?

xxxx Jo

Still day 20....struggling to get my 'leg over'...:-)

Just a quickie

Had some terrific support from fellow travellers and Dax with regards to my slip ups and have eaten well all day as usual.

Did manage to go grain and flour free for a good old day of clean food and made a roast for Sunday lunch....just chicken, roasted roots and braised red cabbage. Lovely

Anyway, ran through the dumbbell matrix....crikey that is challenging!! Could do them all except the 'leg over' move....just can't seem to launch myself into that one. Patience is a virtue they say

Catch you tomorrow

xxx Jo

Day 20 and well, I kinda, woulda, coulda shoulda.......

Oh dear.

I have been trying to avoid this moment

I wanted to lie....to pretend I am still doing well....to hide under my duvet until the truth went away.

The truth? I messed up. On Friday I only did one round of IMT because my day got off to a bad start and I allowed myself to get distracted.

Yesterday, I did one session of IMT in the morning and allowed myself to skip the evening session because I was going to a fancy dress party

I have also discovered some quite innocuous looking cheat foods....Tyrell's roasted vegetable crisps....no additives, just bits of deep fried parsnip, beetroot and carrot. I had two hand fulls yesterday.

The other cheat food I have discovered is an innocent looking Spanish 'date and walnut wheel'....just pressed dates and walnuts in a wheel. So yummy, and sugary and like toffee and not on the banned list at all. Surely it is ok then?

Perhaps it is, until you consider that I ate 1/4 of it a day across my snacks for 4 days which amounts to 400 extra sugary calories a day. Perhaps I should view that as a 'one day' natural, additive free treat that I have discovered as opposed to a regular comestible for today. What do I think this is??!! A holiday camp??!!!

Lordy, I am angry. Angry at the fact that I didn't eat properly before going to a party last night dressed as Ann Boleyn (hence silly photo). I didn't eat from the buffet when everyone else did....oh no!! Not me!!

I fell off the waggon when some dark chocolate and nuts were brought round. I had one. Then another. Then before I knew it I was reaching for a whipped lemon fresh cream chocolate as the tray passed by my nose. And then the sponge cake and ice cream came and went. Down my neck. And then, because the floodgates were opened, I ate two slices of the cold garlic baguette I had so carefully avoided earlier. And didn't do my planned second IMT when I got home at midnight because I felt so sick and bloated.

I am angry because I felt for the biggest lie in the world, as cited by Dax Moy.....

The World's Greatest Lie Is This; at a certain point in our lives,
we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become
controlled by fate"
-King Mechezzedek From Paulo Coelho's 'The Alchemist'

So was it fate that led me to eating those things or avoiding my work-out? No, it was choice. I have the answers, but I must revisit the questions.....why am I doing this?? I am doing this because I don't feel attractive and because I want to be slim and healthy and slow down the aging process as I head towards 40......

Another motivation is this dress.....which I will have to wear at a wedding on April 16th. Have a look at it with me......can you see me at my current state wearing that? No!!! So what is wrong with me??? I am so angry today.

Despite this anger I avoided what Paul Mort refers to as 'Flat Tyre Theory'....rather than abandon my quest because my tyre went a bit wobbly, I will continue. I have decided to have a lean protein and vegetables only day today, no flours, breads or grains. I intent to make a lovely chicken dinner with roasted roots and make a vegetable and lentil broth for supper.

I can do this and I want to. I did a brave thing. I submitted my stats to Dax as they are today rather than wait until my body corrects itself after my binge. I was doing ok until yesterday, having shed another pound totalling 6 and a quarter. I woke up this morning a massive 3.5 pounds heavier than yesterday....illustrating the outcomes of falling off the waggon

That'll teach me!!

Back later

Day 18, 72 to go and the discovery of a wonder food

Polenta

Marvellous, especially when fried in a teeny bit of olive oil and garlic and served with home made free range turkey meatballs and a salad.

I am a convert....

Am busy at the mo, so blogs may be short and sparse, but I did have a really great day yesterday.

I picked up my new tooth whitening kit from the dentist (part of my 'Magic 100' goals) and used it for the first time overnight. It has already had an impact and the good news is that the dentist feels confident that I can achieve the highest grade of whiteness. This is important to me as I have a very toothy grin and flash my teeth a lot!! I have always been conscious of my slightly off white smile.....

I also go my hair done and I really like the outcome. I then has my waxing done and an absolutely blissful facial. All part of those goals

Eating is going great, as is the exercises. I will nee to squeeze my IMT in in a moment because I didn't manage to do it this morning, though will do it again this evening too.....

So that's all for now......I will catch you later for further rantings

Til then xxxx

Day 16, 74 to go....creaky legs and morning hunger

Morning,

The sun is shining and I am feeling bright and breezy, if a little creaky. I have noticed that I am losing my balance more during IMT and this seems to be something to do with my ham strings....I am wobbly and creaky.

Could this be something to do with the combo of Power Circuit and IMT? Who knows....it is just something I have noticed.

I breakfasted at 8, snacked at 10......it is now 11 and I am starving and desperate to eat the remaining handfull of nuts I have.

Mornings are definately my hungry time. But then again, so is mid-afternoon. And early evening.

The horrors of hunger!! (smile)

Later xx

Jo

Still Day 15....and a tea time fruit binge

Oh bugger......why did that happen?

I ate at 8......wheat free muesli, summer fruit and yogurt, then

I ate at 10.25....a few nuts and some dates and then, due to time necessity....

I ate at 12....home made red cabbage/yogurt coleslaw with lean ham and 2 oatcakes and then.....

I ate at 2.30....an apple and a small handful of nuts before by next 2 hour appointment and all was going well until.....

I got into the kitchen to make dinner at 6 and had about 8 dates and some nuts.....right before dinner at 6.45 (which was a fab sweet potato, chicken and butter bean stew, and I watched my portion size too......)

Then I got hungry at 9 and ate 2 oatcakes..................

What is going on with me.....hungry Horace or what??

IMT tonight was a bit stiff, and my legs ached during the wobbly legged manoeuvres, though got there and did 8 of each on the upper body and 12 of the squats/lower body ones.

Still feeling great, just wondering about that urge to scoff dates, man!!!

The rather 'lovely' image, by the way is my spirulina and goat's yogurt masque applied Sunday with great results. Speaking of which, I am off work Thursday and Friday and will be picking up my teeth whitening trays from the dentist, having a second set of bloods done to look for that rogue enzyme level that was raised last time, having my hair and waxing done, plus a facial to reward me for my pains.....bliss. Not all hard work this..............

See you tomorrow

xxx

Day 15, 75 to go and, errrr, 'Killin' it, as Paul Mort would say!

Just a quickie today

Yesterday was great.....IMT twice, building in extra moves and loving the feelings of natural energy and general well being I am experiencing.

No slip-ups at all....which means that the only slip-ups I have had in 15 days are:

• I smidgen of wheat hidden in some otherwise brilliant organic venison sausages
• A tortilla wrap at a funeral that may or may not have contained some wheat, though probably did
• A bag of cranberries and nuts eaten at a time when I wasn't hungry
• One missed IMT session

Great, I feel. No binging, no waggon collapses......going well so far. I could still do with reigning in some of my potion sizes, though when I do have large potions it is only of lean protein and vegetable based meals, with a teeny bit of potato/brown rice/wheat free pasta etc.

Today's lunch is red cabbage coleslaw made with goat's yogurt and paprika, raw mange touts, lean ham and two small oatcakes.

Marvellous

xxxx Jo

Day 13.....and all is well. Oh, and 77 to go

Hi there,

Good loss so far....25cm total (biggest area of loss being my bust!) and over 5 pounds, though some hormonal issues may have reduced the impact of this. Looking forward to the next set of measurements

I am really into this. Have run through the power circuit two days on the trot to get it into my head before I do it early in the mornings and I really like it. Except for those ones where you walk on your hands.

I am planning a good day today. Food wise, I started with a big breakfast of prunes, berries and yoghurt followed by scrambled egg on toasted organic rye bread, The bread was a bit chewy and perhaps an acquired taste, but I liked it more than I expected.

I have started taking my spirulina in tablet form as after the initial health buzz, the powder form started to make me gag as it reminded me of the insides of a fish tank. Not that I have tasted one.

I am still taking my soya lecithin thrice daily having read up more about its liver supporting, cholesterol reducing and brain function related benefits. I don't mind the stuff at all.....

So, lunch will be a couple of oatcakes, some home made guacamole and a small bowl of my home made leek and spring green soup.

Dinner will be slow cooked braising steak with umbrian lentils and braised red cabbage. I am going to watch my portion size on that one because the butcher gave me a lot more steak than I expected for a 'two person portion'.

I was pleased with my cooking yesterday. I had never tried Guinea fowl and decided to get something different for dinner, so popped one in the oven with a few cloves and a quartered onion in his body cavity and a brushing of olive oil and sea salt on the skin. I served that with roast sweet potatoes (small portion) and braised red cabbage and another one of my favourite winter berry reductions. It was great.

I do like to have a more special meal on a Saturday evening and I baked a wheat free and sugar free summer berry crumble for pudding served with goat's yoghurt. I loved it. It was a bit tart, but I am getting used to life without 'Splenda' very quickly. I made the crumble topping from soya flour, gluten free flour mix, a bit of butter (maybe too much) and some oats with lots of cinnamon and mixed spice to give it a biscuity taste.

I am going to use the remaining powdered spirulina in the tub to make a face mask, and after that I am going for a 4 mile walk through the lovely ploughed fields in the gorgeous Autumnal sunshine

Catch you later xxxx

Later......

Had a great day....walked 4 miles in an hour and 20 minutes through rugged fields, cleaned my whole house and did that facepack.....with amazing results! Skin feels so smoothe and nourished.

I have braising steak cooking slowly in the oven for a late (but small!!) dinner and am off to do my IMT for the evening.

I was thinking earlier that I feel so physically good that I can't see myself ever wanting to live any other way. I have never felt fitter or stronger or more energised. Quite amazing.

Well, must go for now....no rest for the wicked eh?!!

xxxx Jo

Day 11, 79 to go.....the good, the bad and the emotional hunger

The last couple of days have been emotionally tough,

I was doing closing comments at a conference yesterday and enjoyed my summer fruit and goat's yoghurt 'trifle' much more than I would have enjoyed the scone-based 'high tea' other delegates were tucking into.

I started keeping my food diary proper so I won't need to mention everything I eat here (just managed to get them printed as I have no printer here at home) and am amazed at how often I eat my handful of nuts and dates early because I am bored/stressed/emotional/tired as opposed to being hungry. That is really significant though difficult to challenge.....I need some strategies.

I did my IMT yesterday morning before leaving for work. Left the conference at 6.30 before embarking on a really scary 50 mile drive in high winds to my Gran's house where I would spend the evening before attending the funeral of a family friend today.

Now, my Gran is 86.....and a marvellous woman. She is also an Irish force feeder....and she is never happy unless we are happy, which in her book (bless her, so nurturing!!) means eating something she has wrought with her own fair hand. She is a fantastic cook, having spent years as head chef at a major industrial site and won international awards for her catering. The food she makes is traditional, laden with wheat, sugar butter and all manner of naughty things and salt too.

I had given her instructions....no wheat, dairy, caffeine processed, sugar....and she really respected that. She had prepared a chicken breast with new potatoes and a lovely fresh green salad with her trademark bits of black grape through it. She didn't understand why I couldn't have salad cream, and I explained about the sugar content, which surprised her too....

Tea drinking is a huge part of our very Irish family culture, and she was fine with me drinking my special herbal teas, though commented that she could never face one herself. She always has a malted drink with a slug of brandy to get her to sleep, and it troubled her a bit when I declined, though she shuffled around and prepared her own and didn't complain.

I did no an off-radar emotional binge however. She had baked egg custards (my favourite) and apple pie (second favourite) and seemed OK, though a little hurt when I had to decline......

I felt good.....empowered......strong. So why did I get hungry by 9pm and eat the whole bag of dried cranberries and macadamia nuts I had brought to sustain me through the next day's sad events??? Recompense for my goodness??? Greed?? Emotional hunger......??? A bit of them all to be fair. I felt bad. I also didn't do my IMT. I knew I was going to find it hard to sleep on that sofa near a window on the street they don't call 'little Beirut' by accident.....and I didn't want to wake myself up as I started to doze by 9.30 by getting up and stretching. That is the honest truth.

I did it this morning though and my Gran prepared me scrambled eggs, the slice of wheat free toast I had brought with me and a handful of grapes to get me through the long day ahead. Great.

The funeral was sad, very sad. Not only that, the evening on the sofa the night before has been emotionally troubling. Going back to that town always is, and I went to a strange place in my mind....a state kind of haunted by ghosts and flashbacks as I tried to nod off, knowing that the place where my tired limbs lay was just a few streets away from the scenes of much hardship I faced as a young person. I wondered how I had managed to climb out of that, out of 'Little Beirut' and into an ivory tower and when I did sleep my dreams were tinged with this too.....

The church was sad too.....and as I stood there paying my respects I realised that this beautiful old church in the midst's of chaos has been the marker for so many important times in my life. My baptism, Sunday school, the choir, weddings, baptisms to follow, and now this. A funeral. When we sang 'Amazing Grace' my eyes stung with tears as I thought of the man whose passing we mourned, and again of this little 'wretch' who had somehow climbed out of hell's kitchen and into the light.......

So the wake.....and focusing on the buffet. It was now 1.40 and almost 6 hours since I had eaten. I was starving. Emotionally and physically. I looked at the plates of quiche, pies, sandwiches and almost gave myself permission to dig in. After all, where around here was I going to find gluten, sugar, additive free cuisine??? I had already had a single alcohol free beer to mark my friend's day and somehow wondered if the flood gates had opened.

I approached the table. The smell was amazing. My stomach churned. And what did I find amidst the smorgasbord of banished booty??? A tiny plate of chicken tikka pieces and a single tortilla sandwich wrap (I wondered if it has wheat in it but risked it anyway- with nasty gastric after effects!!!). I felt good. After all, I had given myself permission for one day to abandon ship, yet somehow clung onto the mast as it started to sink. I followed this with a huge bowl of fresh fruit pieces and spurned the sherry trifle and lemon meringue pies that had been calling to me.

So, not great, not awful.....but yielded great learning about the emotional process involved in all of this.

Do you know what is great??? The change in my shape....I am definitely changing. I will be doing an official weigh and measure for Dax tomorrow and also trying the yoga moves prescribed. Just made a great Mexican chicken and smoked paprika stew with real, home made corn tortillas and feeling good, if emotionally jaded.

Until tomorrow xxxx

Day 10, 80 to go and I won't see you for a few days

Well,

10 days off the old toxins have passed and I am feeling better than ever.

My Doctor was amazed at how well I am doing, but noticed in some recent (pre 90 day challenge) blood tests that although my overall cholesterol count is normal, within that count I have more bad cholesterol than good.

This worried me as I would certainly not consider my pre-90 day diet as a source of the stuff- at the time I was drinking skimmed milk, eating low fat cow's yoghurt and no cheese or butter.

I am now eating more eggs, have started to cook with butter from time to time and eating full fat goat's yoghurt. I do take high strength fish oil, flax oil and spirulina, which I hope will help but am wondering what a further set of tests next Thu will show......slightly concerned as am loving the whole food regimen.

Anyway....all is going well over here. Eating on target, though 'nut nibbling' before dinner is still a bit of an issue. IMT twice a day and Yoga last night- very challenging and flexibility greatly aided by IMT practice!!!

Going away for a funeral for 2 days which will prove challenging. I have stocked myself up with gluten free bread, goat's butter, nuts and dates and am hoping my Gran will respect the fact that I won't be eating any wheat etc when I stay with her. She is a great cook and struggles to keep track of my 'latest fads'....

Catch up with you at the weekend xxxx

Day 9, 81 to go- and the mama of all days to report

Blimey,

Was yesterday perfect???

Let's start with the 7.20 am train. Delayed, as was the 7.30, the 7.40 and so on. The whole system had gone awry and travelling to work not only took almost three times as long as usual, but was chaos. Amazingly I managed to blag a seat ( I am not shy, I can tell you....) and I got to work feeling slightly shaken but not stirred.

Teaching went well during the morning. I was hampered by ridiculous shoes that I bought because I loved them though they were down to the last pair and this happened to be in the next size up. So walking in them is a whole system of bodily management. And by lunch time they had started to get on my nerves. As had some other people I have to work alongside, who, by 3pm had descended into what resembled a flock of screaming baby seagulls who all wanted a piece of me. A two hour long consultation forum followed until 6pm, which became one of the most negative meetings I have lived through and led to me leaving with a feeling of dishevelment!!!

So, I headed off for the 18.15 in those stupid shoes which were growing even more burdensome and boat like with every step and was obstructed on the stairs by three screaming and bickering teenagers. They scurried down ahead of me as I heard the train pull in and guess what?? During their lolloping and happy slapping of one another, they totally got in my way and I reached the train doors just as they closed. I remember saying 'Oh F**k!' aloud as the train sailed off into the tunnel and casting a most evil look towards the battling chavs. My heart literally sank. On a normal day, missing the 18.15 is annoying, as the next one doesn't come until 18.35 and as it takes me 40 minutes to get home, your evening feels as though it is shrinking disproportionately. But the delays and problems faced this morning were still unresolved and the station were unable to predict the time of the next train. And my phone was out of charge so I couldn't even phone my husband and beckon him to pick me up somewhere along the line if I got another train that could take me half way there. And I was carrying loads of books in 3 bags. And my shoes were now becoming impossible. And my heart was still flattened by the fraction of the second train missage.

Eventually got on a train at 0 to 7 and due to serious delays it got me home at 7.30. The rain was pelting down. I was cold and miserable. I couldn't phone to organise a lift from the station so I had to walk it. In the rain with 3 bags and those shoes. It was misery. 15 minutes of agony.

When I got home I found that an industrial sized de-humidifier had landed in our kitchen to sort out the remnants of last week's washing machine flood and also most of the weekly shopping delivery was still to be unpacked and re-arranged. I nearly cried.

The outcome......

Do you expect to tell you that I fell off the rails, got a takeaway or had a sugar binge?

Because I didn't.......

I did eat a few nuts when I got in because I hadn't eaten since 2 (having run out of nuts to eat with my fruit....), but I put the shopping away, ranted at my husband a bit, moved the great machine thing to one side and cooked a chicken, smoked paprika, cherry tomato, carrot and butter bean stew served with a handful of baby spinach.

A triumph....IMT twice yesterday, eating on target ( I did find my self nibbling on nuts between meals though....must sort that!), portion sizes reduced. The only thing I didn't managed was belly dance practice, but I have Pilates this evening and will work very hard.

I am delighted with the day I had and the adversity I overcame. And I am NEVER wearing those shoes again xxxx

Day 9, 81 to go and today is going to be PERFECT

Is perfection too much to ask for?

Sometimes, maybe....

But in this case, in terms of my goals and my actions towards them, definately not.

Today is going to be spot on.

No hidden wheat or naughty sugared fruit
No slacking off
No lying or self delusion

Perfection is what I am looking for. I am going to lay my head on my pillow tonight and marvel at the day I have had, having accomplished:

The work I need to do today (I have a list, believe me)
Well- spaced, on list eating
IMT twice (one down already!!)
45 minutes bellydancing practice.....

I will report later. I can do it. The rewards are going to be magnificent xx

Day 8....82 to go....and a hidden source of sugar

Well, let's start with the bad stuff and get it out of the way.

I have decided to come clean about something. I have been getting sneaky, secret sugar from dried fruit. A few dried figs this morning and a mammoth handful of dried fruit this afternoon. Trouble is that in addition to the dates and dried banana slices, it also contains what can only be described as little chunks of candied lemon. And I got a complete sugar hit from it. And then felt totally sick. And threw the rest of the jar away...looks healthy but is the basis of self delusion and secret toxins.....

No bit disaster but i did fear that I was falling off the waggon....a smidgen of wheat yesterday, candied lemon today......

I can assure you than the waggon is still riding through town and I am still clinging on there (sometime desperately) and hope to be at its helm again soon. Actually, what am I trying to do here? Talk myself out of winning? I AM at the helm and will remain so. OK, I momentarily left the driving seat and let some idiot take over for a few minutes but she is gone now!!!

Good things today????

First early morning IMT run through....though I have been doing it twice daily this happened to be on days when I didn't need to get out of bed at 6.30. I did it today, as soon as I got out of bed and really enjoyed it. It woke me up actually!!

I missed belly dance class so did an hour's practice at home and also had a 40 minute walk. Did my IMT again whilst watching TV in the living room

I had the impressions done for my teeth whitening shields....part of my magic 100. I have made room in my budget by committing to not buying clothes til early Feb, after all I will need a new wardrobe then when I have dropped my weight. I have a great wardrobe now and will get my money's worth before I have to ditch it.

I said to my dentist that my teeth whitening is more important because after all, you always wear your smile and mine is an especially wide and toothy one. Can't wait to pick up the treatment in 10 days and get whitening

Eating (except the secret sugar stash) fab....protein with every meal, nicely spaced, reducing dinner portions

All is OK here

Good night xxxx

Still Day 7....have I been naughty..? Perhaps a little

Hmmmmmm,

A moral dilemma. My butcher makes the most beautiful organic venison sausages from pure and lean meat. I asked him if he used rusk after I had purchased them and was heading for the door....'no', he replied, I use bread and herbs and that is all in addition to the meat. I sighed, but he explained that he uses 0.5 pounds of white bread per 11lbs of meat. Could have been per 18 pounds even.

I wrangled with the sausages (not literally) all weekend and have just eaten them with some roasted baby turnips, baby carrots and turnips and a home made wheat free winter berry sauce....they were lovely, truly.

On one hand wheat is wheat, but sound a negligible amount. On the other hand......there is no other hand is there? Wheat is wheat......

It is not like I fell off the waggon for a cream cake or a Danish or a beer....I chose fantastic organic, fresh, seasonal produce.

I am confused and don't know how to view this one really. My resolve is in no way dented and I am solid as a rock....

Done IMt once and will do another one when my dinner has settled. Not sure if I am doing some of the ones involving squats correctly when working solo, so will need to use the vid again this evening methinks

Overall, a good weekend to end a good week.

What do you reckon to the wheat in sausages issue? Do let me know!!! xxxx

Day 7, 83 to go, and some good news!

Well,

At the end of a tough (though not impossible) week of detox and movement I started to notice some changes around my waist and stomach....and allowed myself to get on the scales. It appears that I have lost 6 and a quarter pounds. What is important is that I felt it before I weighed myself, and what a feeling that is. Just a few positive changes to report:

• Improved posture



• Skin looks amazing



• General feeling of wellbeing



• No bloatedness



• Enjoyment of lovely food



• IMT has been manageable



• Weight loss



• Vitality



• Empowered feeling......



• Learning to make great recipes without 'banned foods'

I am listening to an interview given by Dax as I type and am struck by how similar our backgrounds are. I won't say more than that, but what I will say is that I must acknowledged all of the things I have already done to get myself from there to here.....and also the fact that food deprivation might have led to some of my attitudes towards food today. I have always said that that stuff lurking there in my youth has driven me.

Anyway, moving on (rapidly), I made two fantastic meals yesterday and am amazed at how quickly you learn to live without sucralose, flour etc.

We had a salad of harissa king prawns, avocados, spinach and pine nuts for lunch....very satisfying

For dinner I made Barbary duck breast (and I left the skin on!), butter beans, carrots and green beans on butter and lemon zest/herbs and even invented a summer fruit crumble from gluten free flour, a bit of butter and some frozen summer fruits which I served with a dollop of goat's yogurt. Did I need sweetener? No!! I am adjusting well....

My most triumphant ingredient however was the sauce I made to go with the duck.....I had to think hard. I got some berries (redcurrants, blackcurrants) and simmered them in a Saute pan and added the rind and juice of an orange, a teaspoon of black olive pate (gives a meaty richness) and reduced it down to a beautiful jus.....Feeling good

I do worry a bit about my cholesterol level.....I will consult Dax

Back later xxx

Day 6, 84 to go and off to a good start

Well, I was up at 7.50 to welcome a team of roofers and builders for winter maintenance and little jobs like dimmer switches and washing machine plumbing. I made them the customary bacon butties while I myself has a lovely omlette. I used butter again, of the goat variety, clearly....and wondering if the deliciousness yielded by this is a problem?

It is after all, on the list. I am going to do my IMT now and follow this with my spirulina. This is all getting a bit repetitive isn't it? And rightly so, because I really believe that the true secret to success is evidently in the habit forming and repetition. So the more I drone on and repeat myself, the better I get.

I sorted my finances out this morning....this month has been tough, given two major events, both of which involved entertainment, dog kenneling, gift and hotel costs, plus the slight increase in the shopping bills whilst stocking up on wholefoods. Oh, and the random purchase of a pair of black, knee high leather boots. And the building work. And our dog needed an operation on his paw. And the washing machine flooded the whole utility cupboard twice, leaving the floor totally wrecked. Even given the insurance support, there is still a massive excess to pay and our insurance premium has risen. How dare they? They are basically re-charging for their services. Fiends.

Surprisingly I have managed all this and should be in the black and also able to pay for my professional teeth whitening treatment (part of my magic 100) by the start of next month. Marvellous. I am living quite cheaply outside of the shopping bills as I am not eating out at all. Nights in involve tasty, wholesome dishes, a roaring coal fire and a glass of water with bits of lime in it. I love it actually. I managed to socialise twice this week though and going out for teatime herbal tea with friends has been a refreshing change. Literally!!!!

So, what is on the special weekend menu today then??

Like I said, I started with a spinach, cherry tomato and bacon omlette and some summer fruits and goat's yoghurt

I will have my spirulina shake after I have done my IMT

I have some extra large king prawns marinating in rose harissa which I will serve hot with a salad of avocados, pine nuts and spinach for lunch.

Some peaches and goat's yogurt with toasted flaked almonds planned for my afternoon snack

And dinner.......well, dinner is going to be an extravagant combination of pan fried Gressingham Duck breast, butter beans in a black olive jus and spinach. I think that will be just lovely

Off to move my ass and other muscles. Going for a 2k hand weight this morning and last accompanied run through before I fly free, as it were, tomorrow.

Byeeeeee xxxx

Day 5, 85 to go....still the same day, dunno what I was ranting about earlier....!

Hi again,

Good day today. Am not going to rant on much tonight, but I did my IMT twice, went for a cuppa with a mate, treated Alex to one of my special baltis with my own gluten free Naan breads, got my work done, got my provisions and ate like an angel. Portion size this evening not brilliant....I think I need to cut down on the size of the stew/balti/tagine I make because I perhaps over-compensate when not serving with rice or a side.....will muse over that over night.

I did the IMT this evening unaccompanied by footage. It went ok...I am getting better. Need to slow down and do like 'one elephant, two elephant, three elephant' etc....am doing that a bit but could get better. Sometimes I lose the 'mastery' when I start counting. Evidently, there is not much space inside this cluttered head.

Just wanted to report that saying 'no' to things seems easy because of my bigger goals. It is like an inner voice has appeared. Is it my reticular activating system? There is certainly something shoring me up. It says a range of things, like 'stop fannying around and get on with your work' and 'it is challenging but not impossible'.

Just to make it clear before I sign off for the night that this is an inner voice and I don't actually hear in in my ears or enter into open dialogue with it in busy shopping centres.....the caffeine withdrawal hasn't driven me that mad......yet!!!

Oh!! One more thing....detox headache has gone.....yay!!


xxx Jo

Day 85, 85 to go....First impressions count

Just scribbling some notes about the IMT session I have just done I so don't forget.....

• Getting better at the balance....can almost touch the floor 5 times in succession without wobbling about


• Going through it with the video is still useful as I am determined to master this properly. I am now working through by myself and listening to tips on posture and using the spaces in between to sip water....got a pint and a half down today


• My posture is getting better.....I am doing this painstakingly, because I am certain the getting these fundamentals right will help in all forms of exercise, such as pilates and bellydance....I am already noticing that my resting posture is improving because I am making certain I pull my shoulders back and lift my head. Sometimes I feel as though I am strutting my stuff though, as no-one else seems to walk like that. It is amazing how many sets of rounded shoulders you spot when you are posture aware.....


• Boob obstruction. I have to be frank here. There are certain exercises that I find challenging because of my, errrrr, over endowment in this area. They seem to get in the way when I am lifting a weight above my head and my upper arms kind of brush off them.

That's all for now....have had my detox lemon and hot water, then my spirulina and lecithin shake and am off to have an omlette and some fruit/almonds. I have also put my washing machine on, incidentally......

I am busy today and if you see me on here between now and this evening I am slacking.....

Goals?

Have a cuppa with a friend

IMT X 2

Focus at work and work smart to achieve a multitude of tasks

Walk 30 minutes with dogs at lunch time (not great exercise, we are talking terriers here, stop, start, sniff, stop, start, wee- but better than nothing)

Purchase chicken, duck breasts for tomorrow, eggs and breakfast things from butcher's to support a weekend of great eating

Do something special for husband dear

Good self talk.....challenging, yes, impossible, no....challenging, yes, impossible, no

xxxxxxx

Day 4 still, review and Up-date

I have decided on a new post because I can't get that stupid hi lighter thing to switch off on previous.....let's not start on a negative though, given the amazing day I have had.

Yes, I feel a bit limpy. Yes, I have had the mother of all detox headaches, like all day. Yes, at times I have been ravenous and craving a pecan Danish like never before my my life....but those goals I set earlier? Yes, I licked 'em all!!!!:

DO NOT let aches and pains transform themselves into undermining self doubts: I did my IMT twice, slowly but surely to gain that sense of mastery Dax refers to....and I enjoyed it....and I am getting more balance and flexibility every time I do it. And the great thing about it is that though I am still watching the footage every time I do it in order to ensure I commit the correct movements and technique to my brain, I will soon be able to do it anywhere, like in the living room while watching CSI, for example. Well, listening to CSI. The trickier ones for me are the ones involving squats, but I run through a few without the other movements first to make certain I am keeping a nice straight back and neck and pushing my bum out rather than sticking my knees out. It is working. I can feel the benefits already.....The wobbly ones are getting better and I am putting my foot down less and reaching down further every time. And today was my first double whammy run through. I will practice tomorrow and over the weekend with the footage in front of me and with a 1kg hand weight I am using and prime myself for solo and a 2kg weight from Monday.

DO NOT assume it is impossible just because you find it hard: I said that to myself all day...and even found myself dispensing it as advice to a friend who is struggling to change her working patterns....

Reduce portion size at dinner: I made a stew of carrots, potato, chicken, chick pea sprouts and black olive pate. Instead of using two potatoes between the two of us, I used one. Although the portion was quite big, it was made up mostly of vegetables and lean protein and served without any accompaniments.

Do IMT twice, slowly and focusing on mastery: as per above

Drink 3 litres of water and herbal tea with lemon: I discovered the beauty of drinking plain boiled water at a meeting that only had tea and coffee on offer. It goes down really nice.....and I drank my 3 litres with ease throughout the day

Phone mother: I did this too! Hurrah!!

Have coffee with a friend: Well, herbal tea! I did this today and am also seeing another friend for a cuppa tomorrow evening. Part of my magic 100 goals.

Get my (work) action plan and data crunching done by 11.30: Swapped this for clearing admin tasks and got them done so that I can do the big stuff tomorrow

Be present in this afternoon's (potentially boring) meeting: I was indeed and stayed focused and alert. I also ignore the huge plate of luxurious chocolate short breads that were situated literally under my nose for 2.5 hours. I could smell them and I was hungry. I opted instead for 10 nuts and a couple of tangerines I had in my bag.

All other aspects of my eating have been fab, omlette for breakfast and tuna, umeboshi, tamari, spinach and quinoa salad for lunch

As Paul would say, I am 'killing it'

Was it easy.....errr, no.

Was it impossible.....evidently not xxxx

Day 4, 86 to go (I had been couting wrong before)....and How did Dax Moy know that??? Magic!

Comrades, I am spellbound.

By a few things actually.

The first was an email from Dax basically predicting every sensation, ache, craving and emotion I had experienced yesterday.....magic!!! Basically a product of the combination of detox and new movements. I am still worried about my lower back, as it hurts a bit today, but not that worried and I am about to take a break and work some more on the mastery of my IMT...

The second was another email from Dax relating to the other programme I follow, the 'Magic 100' (I am doing the 'Magic 100' and '90 Day Look Great Naked Challenge' simultaneously). Quite amazing and so complimentary and the quote supplied by Dax sums up perfectly what I experienced yesterday:

"[Do not] assume it is impossible because you find it hard. Recognise that if it's humanly possible then you can do it too."

- Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor

When I re-read yesterday's struggles in the light of these two pearls of wisdom, it makes sense.

I am off to move and then to have an omlette for breakfast. I have had lemon juice and water on rising a la Gillian McKeith and also my Spirulina, Lecithin and apple juice cocktail and am feeling purposeful.

So, important goals for today:

• 
  
  DO NOT let aches and pains transform themselves into undermining self doubts


• 
  
  DO NOT assume it is impossible just because you find it hard


• 
  
  Reduce portion size at dinner


• 
  
  Do IMT twice, slowly and focussing on mastery


• 
  
  Drink 3 litres of water and herbal tea with lemon


• 
  
  Phone mother


• 
  
  Have coffee with a friend


• 
  
  Get my (work) action plan and data crunching done by 11.30


• 
  
  Be present in this afternoon's (potentially boring) meeting

I'll feed back later! xxxx

Back with a quick up-date....did my IMT slowly and with mastery in mind. A few hip twinges are natural perhaps given the movement undertaken.

Also breafasted on spinach omlette (possibly too big- used 4 eggs and feel quite full) and a teeny bit of peach, toasted flaked almonds and a tablespoon of goat's yogurt. I will not be having a snack this morning as I must lunch at 12.30 and it is 10 now!!!

Later xxx

Day 3, 97 to go....not the best of days

Hmmmmmm,

One of those days today. I knew they would come. And I must deal with them as they do, because I am not giving up.

That said, it has still been one of those days and I am afraid I am going to have a bit of a moan. Might as well get it out of the way before I can look at things in a more constructive manner....

Moan 1: I woke up with extreme pain across my lower back, the sides of my hips and shooting down my legs. For the first time in my life I had to take a painkiller for pain in a place other than my head. I was worried first, but the pain soon subsided and has been intermittent throughout the day.....when it is bad, it is very, very bad. And I am not being a 'wuss' for a change. Did I twang something during my first run through of IMT last night?? Or did I just sleep funny? I certainly had a plethora of strange dreams last night including eating curry rice and chips in a rat infested curry house by the sea....perhaps I twisted in sheer revulsion?? I am trying to decide whether or not to attend Pilates this evening, but probably will on a suck it and see basis

Moan 2: Hunger and the dreaded research tea......at the university there is an event I dread....the research tea. Literally a tea party where research is discussed. You are talking crisps, cakes, pastries and all manner of evils, accompanied by tea and intellectual wranglings. I always find it challenging, given that it occurs at 3pm, precisely the time when I am feeling my blood sugar dropping. I have been hungry all day, unusually hungry. I had my usual sinless muesli and yogurt at 7 for breakfast, some fruit, nuts and yogurt at 10 and a lunch of spinach and chicken salad with one of my home made gluten free flatbreads. In order to stave off hunger and prepare for the dreaded carbfest at 3, I ate an apple, a satsuma and a few almonds. I drank water all day. Still hungry......and upon arrival at the research tea resolved to eat nothing. This was hard, especially when you can smell the butter cream in the raspberry Swiss roll situated right under your nose....And I did eat nothing. Until I spotted the dried figs. And ate 5 of them. Now in an ideal world, that would be ok. I made a healthy choice. I didn't eat anything too bad. But 5 large, dried figs in quick succession. Was there really any need for that? As Paul Mort would say, the 'Former Fat Girl' in me reared her, errrrr, wobbly head. Did I fail? I will think about that and report back later...


20.10

Well, later is here and I am resolved to make a success of this strange old day. Will that involve a degree of self-delusion? Not at all.....but a positive platform is essential when things are a bit askew, I feel.
Mid and lower back/hip pains still there....and I decided to put off going to Pilates. I will instead move through my IMT programme carefully, slowly and without holding any weight in order to spend my time fruitfully and constructively, yet carefully. My back ached all the way home on the train, and I felt tired and flagging. I didn't work huge hours today and was out of the house a straight 11 hours, though had several meetings and not much time for a head break.
Still, I accomplished a lot. My goals for today were food, Pilates (which I will replace with the gentle IMT session) and water drinking. I also resolved to sort out my desk and task list and set up for the next two days working from home, which I did really successfully. Having left my office in a hurry due to the onset of the virus I had on Friday, I returned to piles of ad hoc stuff from the day's lecturing lying in piles all over the place, a situation I abhor. I usually spend time each evening putting things away, noting tasks, sorting loose ends and shutting my head down before I leave the office, which is what I accomplished today. Only, I spent all day doing that in between research meetings. It was time well spent and I have neat piles of work at home with me in need of action. Given that I had had two days at home with the lurgy, I caught up quick. Despite having too much on my plate, I feel a sense of control and possibility in my work, as opposed to the overwhelmed feelings I had on Monday and Tuesday whilst working remotely.

I thought about those figs on the way home.....so, were they a healthy eating victory in the face of chocolate macaroons, tortilla chips and Turkish delight, or were they a failure?

A bit of both, I would conclude. OK, I chose something more sensible that I might have done a few months ago. But was I hungry? Perhaps, but was it just a blood sugar dip/outcome of detoxing and could I have resolved it by drinking water? I think so. They were yummy, and a better of several evils, but 5 was unnecessary and greedy. And it might have been 6, if I think about it.

That's all for today. Tomorrow, providing my back is OK, I am going to try a complete run through of IMT in the morning and the evening. Wish me well.

Goodnight xxxx

Day 2, 98 to go: My Goals in Pictures and a Recipe I Invented....

This morning I had more time than usual, given that I am working from home. I got up and did some work before breakfast and gave myself a 40 minute break to achieve the following:

• I made up a spirulina, lecithin and apple juice shake
  
  

• I whisked some lovely Old Cotswold eggs and made an omlette using 'good oil'




• I finished this off with a handful of nuts and enjoyed a lovely breakfast













• I then prepared my fridge for the shopping and was delighted that we had used everything from last week, rendering it bare. I love a sparkling clean fridge ready for shopping.....maybe I am a bit odd!!!














• I made certain my cupboards were ready for the shopping and that the foods I will eat (with the exception of Tuna and Olives which are mine also but must live on another shelf) will be on the bottom shelf. This follows the principle 'If you own it you can eat it'. My hubby now owns the pasta and pad Thai noodles that live on the second shelf, as well as the baked beans!! I happily discovered some rice noodles lurking at the back and checked the ingredients....no wheat, nothing artificial. Hurrah!!!
  

• I also checked my 'sprouter', watered the chick pea sprouts that are growing and then added some aduki beans I had soaked overnight.....very wholesome!

So, good progress so far......main goals for today are elimination eating, being kind to stressed out hubby and doing first session of IMT.......

I will up-date with pics of my abundance filled fridge and cupboards later!!

Some further musings:

Have just decided to banish my scales. My regular weighing is becoming demotivating and I can't help feeling a little disappointed about the fact that 10 days of 'pure' eating have not seen a shift at all. Currently I weigh myself about 3 times a day. When the scales do not shift, a little voice of doubt creeps into the back of my mind.....and the negative self-talk has room to flourish.

It is a strange thing, self-talk. My consciousness is obviously all geared up for action, and that little negative voice seems to know it is going to have to be extremely sneaky to get past my positivity. But it is trying!!! Believe me. It started yesterday when I was languishing and recovering from this virus I have. I was reading an article in either Top Sante or the Holland and Barrett magazine on releasing your authentic self and accepting who you are for what you are. It asked you to consider reasons why you are not happy with yourself and why you tend to fixate on your physical appearance. For me it is simple, the desire to be attractive, accepted, affirmed and loved...... But the article then went on to ask what you can do to accept yourself the way you are more...

What???? Self acceptance? Surely that is dangerous for me given my focus on personal change??

Alarm bells started to ring and the negative chatter disguised itself as affirmative self talk....'See, you don't have to do all of this radical stuff....people should accept you as you are....you always make an effort to look good....you have a great wardrobe.....sexiness is an inner quality after all' and so on.

I felt a bit panicked and suppose I still do, but this does not detract from the fact that I am unhappy with my current physical form. I don't see weight loss as some magical panacea that will cure all aspects of my life and make me a worthwhile person. I am much deeper and more valuable than that.....but it is a realistic health goal that will enhance many aspects of my already successful and happy existence. So shut up negative chatterbox and get some nuts and seeds down your whingeing little neck!! He he....

Another form of negative self-talk seems to stem from your brain's ability to say......'Well, you've done GI, Red Days, points counting, gym membership, this that and the other and nothing has really worked so far....and look at your fads.....you go through months where you buy loads of GI, then red day/green day stuff and all this mental focus comes to nothing'. In support of my 'reticular activating system' I have decided to examine some of these 'fads' as stopping off points on my journey. Some of these relate to non-diet based stuff I have trialled.......

• The GI diet 2005: Great weight loss? No....but it did lead to better understanding of the effect of foods with a high GI rating on my physical and mental well being. What have I taken from this? Pulses and lentils have become a staple and this has helped me in the long run


• Going to the Gym every day 2005: Great weigh loss? No....but I did get fitter and it prepared me for the learning I gained from working with Paul Mort about what really works to shift fat. I have also created my own 'gym' by walking whenever I can, doing Bellydance and Pilates weekly and will add to this with Dax Moy's IMT plan



• Red days, green days, points counting: Great weightloss? Yes, 4 stones, though the principle of counting things as sinful foods has ceased to work
  


• Time management and motivational training/reading: Do I consciously stick to every one of these principles every waking moment? No! But my approach to demarcation, quality time, professional time management, getting chores like the ironing and shopping done is fantastic!! I used to be a lazy, disorganised wreck of a woman who never ironed anything til the last minute and had a problem managing tasks and deadlines. For the past three years, I have established a healthy but flexible routine that includes effectiveness at work (demonstrated by a number of promotions leading to the job I want to do), excellent personal grooming, and an organised household which extends to a fridge which is always well stocked with good stuff, a well maintained wardrobe and good routines for cooking, lunch prep etc....total transformation!

I will not forget how far I have come in terms of personal development....
So shut up, negative head

Back later....

Later....Well, my shopping was delivered ......and I excitedly opened the bags to reveal a ton of pure food goodies.....

My vegetable tray doesn't usually look that much different from this, though I added celery hearts and avocados to liven things up a bit. Cherry tomatoes, courgettes and sugar snap peas are staples already

My fridge now looks great, filled with Spinach, bio live Goat's yogurt, chicken and turkey and apple juice for my morning spirulina shake. I also bought goat's butter.....I am scared to eat it, based on the fact that I stopped eating butter or anything similar when I gave up bread ages ago. I would love to enhance some of my meals with butter, and must seek advice from Dax. It is on 'the list' however.

For the freezer, I bought Soya Beans, summer fruits and king prawns.
My store cupboard ingredients contain everything I need to make nutritious, pure and tasty food, from Aubergine Pesto to Harrissa paste and Tamari Soya. In addition to this, I stocked up on a plethora of pulses, nuts and seeds as well as gluten free flour to make my own organic flat breads. Flax seed oil will come in handy when making dressings with Umeboshi plum paste or black olive pate. Looking good!!! I made a fantastic lunch of baked potato served on a bed of raw baby spinach leaves and dressed with umeboshi plum paste, flax seed oil and rice vinegar and topped with a concoction of stir fried carrot slices, pine nuts, chick peas, chicken and aubergine pesto. Extremely tasty and sustaining- three hours later and I only just considering having a few seeds and an apple....back later xxx

Back...and with news of a recipe.....what do you make from Umbrian lentils, turkey breast fillet, carrots, celery, frozen Soya beans, garlic, passata, organic vegetable boullion, onions and black olive pate?

Umbrian lentil stew.....it was lovely.

I started by using my new gluten free flour to make a dough by adding a bit of flax oil and some warm water and mixing until nice and pliable.

I let that stand for a while so I could put my lentils in a pan full of water to boil for 15 minutes. I had time to finely slice some carrots an onions and heat a lump of Goat's butter and a dash of olive oil on my wok (I use my wok to cook everything in the world). To this, I added the carrots, an inch worth of garlic puree and the diced turkey. After a few minutes, I added a teaspoon of my newly acquired black olive pate and allowed the whole lot to cook while I shaped my flat breads. It smelled lovely.

Initially I had hoped that I would get instantly better outcomes than I had with the Soya flour I used last week, though rolling the dough balls into thin breads really isn't an option because without the glutenous pull, they just fall apart. After flailing around a bit, I decided to throw away the rolling pin (not literally) and shape the breads into little patties.

Meanwhile, I added some passata, water, and a teaspoon of bouillon to my wok and checked to see how the lentils were doing. After about 5 minutes I drained them and added them to the wok with my other ingredients along with a cupful of frozen soya beans. While this was bubbling away nicely, I headed a non stick pan which I sprayed with a mist of olive oil and when very hot flung on my flat breads to cook. They turned easily and cooked nicely.

I lined two pasta dished with a good handful of raw spinach and sprinked these with a bit of soya lechithin and a drizzle of flax oil. I usually serve stews and curries on raw spinach and feel it adds texture and colour as well as making the meal look more substantial, especially when serving without rice or grains.

Et Voila......a nice rustic stew and flat bread invented from scratch.

The verdict....really enjoyable but I ate too much. I didn't make quite enough to dish up for lunch so served the whole lot and it was deceptively filling. The butter scares me a bit. I have spent so ling dry frying everything that I wasn't accustomed to the richness of flavour it gives the meal and it felt very, very rich....my hubby said perhaps a bit too rich. I will put less in next time......

In 30 minutes I am going to slowly move through my IMT

schedule and try to commit to memory as much as possible. I have enjoyed having the space and time to do a visual blog today, though time will be limited for the rest of the week.....

I will try and get on to post initial thoughts about the movement thing....

20:58....I did it!!! I had been putting it off to be honest and was scared in case I did something wrong and ended up in traction. The IMT clip is extremely well modelled and easy to follow. The movements are also extremely complimentary to the stuff I am doing in Pilates and even Bellydance.....

I have decided to run through in the evenings tomorrow until I am comfortable with the movement before daring to attempt when I blunder out of bed at 6.15....

Good new is that my day starts and ends at home Thu and Fri so I should be able to get into the twice daily routine ok by then. After all, I said I would be willing to pay the cost didn't I??

Anyway, I have Pilates for an hour tomorrow evening, so I am not really cheating. Until tomorrow xxxx (feeling good!) Jo